Separation Anxiety
by warinbabylon
Summary: Separated from the Doctor for a year, Peri and Tegan have adopted a new planet as their home. The planet, as is their luck, is under siege. They have changed, situations have changed. When they meet up with the Doctor, it's obvious he's changed too.
1. Default Chapter

This is a sequel to both Gallifreyan and Noites Dos Sonhos. It takes place during Warmonger and I apologize the freedom I've taken with characters. I think I gave them new names. Take it for what its worth

Disclaimer: BBC and Terrance Dicks own the basis of this work. I'm only borrowing. I make no money from it nor do I ever plan to

__

Stones cutting her hands. Red rocks, gray rocks, gritty. Peri running ahead of her, tripping, falling. Reaching to pull her to her feet, yelling that she had to keep running. Fire lapping at their feet. Not really fireloud like thunder, sharp like lightning. She dodged, she ran, she cajoled Peri to run faster. Clearing the hill, looking back. The Doctor there, his hand falling to her back. He shouted for her to keep going. He was going to help the guard slow down the closing enemy. Run for the ship, the TARDIS is too far. Running, falling, scraping, leaping, following Peri up the landing platform into the belly of the transport. Turning.

To see the Doctor wave the ship on. Feeling her stomach fall, bile rise in her throat. She turned to run back down the ramp, but he shook his head. She could see his eyes, blue and wide and full of feeling. Take care of Peri, he yelled. Go, it's the only way. I'll find you. Then the man forcibly taking her back from the door. The sound like rushing water or a train and then it was moving. She looked back out the window to see the enemy closing in. Guns firing, the dust from the transport's exhaust obscuring everything. Not seeing his face again

Her scream brought her awake. She sat up sweating and gasping for air, jarring her friend who slept next to her on the small pallet. She grasped at her thin shirt, trying to pull the wet, clammy material from her chest. It didn't help that the air around her was a laden with moisture as her shirt.

"Tegan?" 

Tegan turned her head to see that Peri was sitting up along side her. She felt her hot hands against her back, patting, reassuring. "I'm all right, Peri."

"Another dream?"

"The same one," she said quietly, thoughtfully. She shook her head and turned to Peri. The girl's hair had grown longer, reaching the middle of her back, but like Tegan, she wore it back in a ponytail. Her face was dirty; Tegan could see that even in the dark. Granted Sylvana had two moons which made fighting at night all that much easier, but it was still dark. "The same one"

"The Doctor?" Peri pressed, easing back to lean on her elbows. Tegan nodded and glanced around at the rest of the camp. 

"I didn't wake anyone, did I?" 

"No," Peri lay back and stared around at the rest of the camp as well. "No, you didn't. You know the menthey catch as much shut eye as is possible when the risk of fighting is low. They'd sleep through a hurricane if they thought there was no threat from it."

Tegan nodded again and took a deep breath. "I don't blame them. I highly doubt my nightmare is a threat to them."

As she lay back down, she turned on her side and looked to her friend. "We should meet up with the General's men tomorrow by midday. We'll have to use most of the rations in the morning to eatfor strength. We're only going to have one chance at this"

"Then get some more sleep," Peri muttered helpfully. "You'll do no good half-asleep."

"Hell's teeth," Tegan shot back, finally resting on her back. "Like I've had a tremendous amount of sleep since we've come here."

Peri laughed quietly, agreeing under her breath. "There's something to be said for getting used to only four hours a night, isn't there?"

"We get out of here and I'm going to sleep for a year."

"I'm getting a cheese steak and taking a really long, nice, hot bath."

Tegan smiled in the dark. "One of those Philadelphia cheese steaks you've told me about it?"

"Yeah, one of those," Peri said. With a yawn, she closed her eyes. "You're worried about the Doctor."

Her sigh was answer enough, she supposed, because Peri continued. "He'll find us"

Tegan smiled and gave Peri a nod. As her friend drifted off to sleep, Tegan turned away from her and the rest of the camp, hugging her jacket to herself like a pillow. The heavy tropical plant leaves moved in the nearly non-existent breeze. She grunted as she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyelids. Even after a year, she still felt the need to cry.

She had seen what had happened when the transport had taken off; Peri had not. She knew the Doctor wasn't coming after them. He had either died and regenerated or his regenerative center had been damaged and he had been unable to regenerate. If he had regenerated, post-event trauma probably had wiped her and Peri from his memory.

The Doctor wasn't going to miraculously show up after a year. She and Peri were stuck thousands of years after their time on a planet under siege. They had joined up with the guerillas for self-protection at first and to help their cause later. This was their home now. It was in their best interest to help their home. 

She rolled over on her back and stared at the stars. Sometime later, blessedly, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

**

Tegan finished drawing the diagram and frowned at it. Around her, the twenty men and women that had been forming into a small band of guerilla fighters gathered. Johan laid a map next to the diagram on the ground and helped Tegan prepare the plan. It had taken them four hours the day before to organize the plan and to calculate the positions of where they needed to be.

Granted, Tegan thought, as she straightened and tossed her ponytail over her shoulder, I'm not the brains behind this circus, but I do get these people organized.

"Right! Gather round!" she shouted. Most of the men and women shifted their guns and packs on their back. "It's time to move out. We need to get our positions."

"The Scourge is awake," one of the men joked. 

"The Scourge has had her stimulant pill," Tegan replied in return, her mouth curling into a smile. "Come onno time to wastethe General is gaining ground and coming closer."

"Haven't we sent word to that Supremo for help?"

Tegan glanced to Johan and he nodded to her to answer the question. "Yes, we have. But Sylvana, although extremely important to us, doesn't amount to a hill of beans to the rest of the Universe. This is our fight. This is our home."

"The General has an amazing amount of weaponry," another man warned, leaning forward on his gun to stare at the map. "More than we've seen. He's serious about takin' this planet."

Tegan lifted an eyebrow and wiped her now dirty hands on her trousers. "And we're just as serious on keeping him out. Lookwe know this place, the lay of the landeverything. We know where to hide. We only need a quarter of the men that we have if we do this right. Johan has come up with the ambush plan. All we need to do is get into position before they get to the valley. But we can only do that if we pay attention NOW, if we get moving SOON."

Johan laid his hand on her shoulder and nodded. As Tegan walked around to join Peri on the left of the map, her friend smiled. It was a rueful smile. "I like your nickname, Tegan," Peri confided. "Scourgehas a nice ring to it."

"I'm not a morning person," Tegan whispered back. "Listen up"

"Not a morning person, ha, Tegs," Peri responded fondly. "They're calling you that because you spit on men that catch you, yell at those that dare to lay a hand on you and that you make sure this band stays together."

Tegan frowned and rested on her gun. She wasn't quite sure she liked the nickname, but if it gave the others something to use to rally around, then she was all for it. Johan's soft voice lulled her mind. He had been a farmer up until a year ago when his farm had been burned and his family had been killed. Tegan and Peri had been with him; his family had just taken in the stranded travelers when the farm had been set upon. Peri and Tegan had hidden in the surrounding jungle and had come back to find the young, quiet farmer in the dusty, burned ruins of his home and farm. They had helped him mourn. Had helped him bury his family: his young wife, and child. And they had followed him when he took up his gun and disappeared into the jungle. 

Now, Johan was the brains of the situation. Tegan was, as he put it, the heart. She didn't like the word. It was too close to what the Doctor had always told her; it drudged up memories that were too painful for her. But she dealt with it; it helped the others have something to rally around. 

She nodded in agreement as Johan finished outlining the positions for the guerilla strike. He met her eyes and smiled as she called to the others to march out. She and Peri fell into step behind Johan, sweeping through the jungle with a quiet that they had learned by experience in the last year. 

**

"Stay down," Peri hissed, shaking her head as the young man they had just adopted into their band rustled the surrounding foliage. "For God's Sake"

Tegan laid her hand on her Peri's arm to keep her quiet. She intercepted Peri's frown and rolled her eyes. The enemy was too close. 

She could see Johan frowning through the branches of the tree and acknowledged the danger that the boy was putting them in. Ever so quietly, she crawled over Peri and to the boy. She felt his sweat and fear even several feet from him. She eased her hand around his, stilling his shaking hand on the trigger of his gun. "Easy," she breathed in his ear. "Not yet. Calm down."

Through the silent symphony of the blowing foliage, she heard the nearing General's men. Her hand rested on top of the boy's, keeping him steady. "Not yet." 

Below them, the strange space faring uniforms of the General marched into view. Tegan quietly adjusted her gun. Peri did the same next to them. They waited until the men had marched almost past them and then the firefight began.

**

Sometime later Tegan found herself on the ground, running around with Peri. Both of them were covered in blood, water and mud. She had a wound to her shoulder, but it wasn't her shooting arm. 

"I'm not getting a pulse!" Peri yelled. She was dragging the young boy that Tegan had been helping was draped over her shoulder. Tegan growled and glanced around. There were still stragglers form the General's invading party and the fire was still very heavy. 

"Leave him!" Tegan yelled back, the pain evident in her voice. "We've got to get back into the heavy undergrowth."

"Where's Johan?" Peri returned, running passed her.

Tegan turned and fired off two rounds, running backwards toward the trees. "I don't know! Scatter to Point Alpha!" she shouted to the other men. "It's time to move out!"

Tegan covered Peri as the girl ran for the higher ground, disappearing into the foliage completely. Several of the other men disappeared past her, but when Tegan wheeled, she stumbled over a fresh body. It was Johan. Fighting the urge to scream in outrage, she too turned and ran into the undergrowth.

**

She was breathing hard, both from exertion and from grief as she stumbled into a clearing and saw the rest of her band surrounded by strange alien looking beings. They were tall and blue with cone shaped heads and incredibly intricate uniforms. She barely stopped, storming forwards to confront the tallest male alien in the center of the group. He was holding Peri by the arm.

"I don't know who you are, or what you want," she began, her voice menacingly low. "But I do know you're not one of the General's cronies. You have too much class. Let her go. We're of no interest to you."

The leader raised an eyebrow, if that's what his brow line could be called. "You are the Sylvana Fighting Force?"

Tegan lifted her chin. "We are. But we are currently in the middle of warfare; it really isn't the time for a chat."

"Where is your leader?" he asked, quietly.

"Our leader is dead," Tegan spat, hearing the gasps of the others behind her. "Hell's teeth, this isn't time for tea and crumpets," she continued, wiping tears from her eyes. "Let us go. We have to regroup."

The leader looked at his other men and nodded towards the group. "We will take them with us to our ship."

"What?!" Peri yelled.

"We won't go anywhere" another growled from the back of the crowd. 

"Of course we won't.who the hell do you think you are?" Tegan shouted, approaching the tallest officer, her hands balled in fists.

"I am Draconian Commander T'ruk, commander of the Draconian forces under the Supreme Coordinator of the Intergalactic Forces. My orders are to find the leader of the Sylvana Fighting Force and bring the leaders to meet with the Supreme Coordinator."

"The Intergalactic Forces?" Peri asked, incredulous.

"You're a little bit late," Tegan growled. "We could have used your help. We've lost at least half our men."

"The General's forces are being brought back as we speakby this evening, Supremo will have recaptured this planet from the General," T'ruk stated proudly. He held out his hand to lead the band off to the side. "You will give us your weapons and proceed us to the transport."

Tegan remained still, her hands clenched at her sides even as the rest of her band surrendered their weapons. Peri laid her hand on her arm and whispered tightly: "There's too many of them and we're no good in the open, Tegs."

"I know," she whispered back. "But this doesn't feel right. There's more going on here than we're seeing. I don't like it."

"We don't have a choice" Peri reiterated. "But if we go with them, we might be able to figure out how to work it to our advantage"

Tegan nodded, still eyeing the commander with squinted eyes. "I'm not happy about this," she stated quietly, warningly. "But you do have a point, Peri." With a snort of derision, she let her rifle fall to the ground. "Then, take us to your leader," she frowned, flexing her injured arm gingerly.


	2. Chapter 2: Oh, it's you

The transport rocked as it set down by the large space liner. Tegan had seen large spaceships in her life and travels with the Doctor and she barely gave it a glance. Peri, however, had only been traveling with the Doctor a little while when they had been separated from him. When the girl twisted to watch the huge, bulking form of the ship, Tegan actually felt a smile tug at her lips. Once, she had been as in awe of the Universe as Peri was, but her four years traveling with the Doctor and the year that she had been separated from him, had made her a more jaded, less awe-struck woman. Indeed, she was approaching her twenty-sixth birthday. Or at least she thought she was. She had lost track. Somehow, it wasn't important any more.

The others in the transport stared at the sign of off-world life as the transport set down. The only thing that amazed her was the sight of the incredible mix of alien life about the landing legs. She saw more Draconians and Ice Warriors; she remembered them. There were other races she had never seen before and she found herself rising to stand next to Peri, gaping, as the transport powered down near the large silver ship.

"Do you know what they are?" Peri whispered, leaning into her friend.

"I know that the large clawed ones are Ice Warriors and the other blue guys are Draconians," Tegan replied. "But I don't have a bloody clue what the others are. Hell's teeth, it looks like this is the UN of the alien world."

"Yeaha regular melting pot," Peri agreed with a grin. The grin faltered as she looked about at the rest of their band. 

Tegan nodded. "Yeah, I don't feel much like celebrating either. I wonder what those other races are" her voice drifted off as she caught a glimpse of a hulking silver man by the landing gear of the spaceship." Good God! Cybermen!"

T'ruk joined her at the door of the transport. "Yes, the Cybermen recently joined our cause."

"Those overgrown galactic bullies are fighting with you? They don't play nice at all," Tegan warned quietly. "I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them and that isn't far at all"

The Draconian commander nodded knowingly. "They are known for their relentless fighting abilities and their scorn for other humanoid races, but they have realized that their cause could only be won by joining forces with us. The General's forces are incredibly large."

"Admitting defeat," Tegan groused, "has never been Cybermen's strength." They walked down the ramp and towards the larger ship. When they drew close to the excessively tall metal men, she shivered and Peri laid her hand against her back. Tegan supposed she looked strange: in the last year, she hadn't much shivered about anything. 

"Bad memories?" Peri pressed as they walked into the shadow of the ship.

"The worst," Tegan replied.

Together they boarded the large ship not quite prisoners, but not quite guests.

**

The inside of the ship was no more welcoming than the exterior had been. It was a little grander than Tegan had been anticipating, but it did indeed look like a warship. The sleek silver walls looked thick and business like, the hull streamlined. Humanoids and others marched through its interior like a parade ground. Peri edged closer to her as they entered the main corridor of the ship. She extended her arm around her shoulders to give her support as well to cover up her own uneasiness.

She felt as though she was walking through arches of Rome. The soaring architecture as they neared the main conference room of the ship made her feel small and trivial. She had never seen so many people, so many beings together in one place. The sound was deafening. They entered the room from the back and were nearly overwhelmed by the incredible, rising shout that sounded more like a living being than inanimate sound. It grew and grew, threatening to capsize her mind, overwhelm her hearing, and swamp her completely. Peri and she clung to each other as they were lead into the heart of the crowd by the Draconian guard. They passed squat powerfully bodied aliens, Cybermen, humans, Draconians and Ice Warriors as they neared the stage. 

Every being was in formation. Every line was straight as an arrow. Uniforms and bodies had seen action, but they were as neat as possible on each soldier. 

Then as loud and as deafening as the sound had gotten, it suddenly cut off into equally overwhelming silence.

It was then that Tegan glanced to the stage to see the humanoid who had been speaking, who was apparently the Supreme Coordinator of the Intergalactic Forces.

And when she did, she felt like her breath had been stolen out of her chest. With a gaping mouth and wide eyes, she bent in half as if in pain. Peri, concerned, bent over with her, wrapping her arm about Tegan's shoulders. "What is it, Tegan? What's the matter?"

Tegan gasped and felt like she had been punched in the stomach. All she could do was point to the stage. Supremo had concluded his speech and was walking from the stage. His black uniform fit his slim body impeccably, and his blond hair was short, and almost impossibly groomed. From the distance, they couldn't see the color of the leader's eyes, but Tegan knew his eyes would be blue. 

"Good grief," Peri breathed. "It's the Doctor."

**

Tegan felt out of her body as she was led through the rest of the ranks toward the side door. Sound tunneled about her, her sight narrowed until all she could see was directly in front of her. She couldn't feel her feet, couldn't feel her hands. She only knew she was moving. Peri was chattering along side her, smiling. And when the last door was passed, when the aching yawning room that held what felt like half of the Universe was behind them, she started to feel as though she couldn't walk. 

He stood at the far side of the room, talking with two other officers. Even from their far off vantage point, she could see that he had lost weight and gained muscle. His skin had tanned, darkened; his thighs were more muscular; his shoulders and arms more powerful. She squinted and shook her head. He hadn't regenerated; he hadn't died. And it was clear he didn't know that Peri or she were there. 

The Doctor was talking with his men, pointing to what looked like a star chart. Tegan wanted to know only one thing. She turned to T'ruk and nodded. "He's Supremo?"

"The Supreme Coordinator, yes," the Draconian replied. 

Tegan swallowed and barely suppressed the urge to run toward him. She had missed him. Had missed his smiles, his calming voice, and his friendship. She had missed his warmth, his acidic humor, even his frowns. She had missed his cool hands; she had missed his gentle embraces, the few kisses they had shared. And she had missed the thought that they would ever be lovers again. 

T'ruk announced that he had brought the leaders of the Sylvana Fighting Force and the Doctor lifted his head to greet them. And he stopped. It looked like he stopped breathing, swallowing, everything

Peri took off next to Tegan and ran to the Doctor, her arms thrown wide. The Time Lord, although definitely embarrassed by Peri's enthusiasm, caught the girl in a friendly embrace. Tegan couldn't hear what Peri was saying or what the Doctor was saying in return. Her ears rang, her throat tightened. She couldn't talk. Couldn't move. And then the Doctor walked down the room toward her. Peri walked behind him, smiling widely. She felt like she was watching a movie. No anger, no happiness, just blank understanding that the Doctor wasn't dead.

"Tegan?!" the Doctor nearly shouted, his voice tight, almost as if he hadn't used it happily in a while and the strain was threatening to break it.

"Doc?" she whispered. He was still several feet from her when she felt the world start to spin. She never felt his arms catch her as she slipped to the ground.

**

"Elevate her arm."

Tegan heard the Doctor's voice next to her and felt his signature cool hands on hers. 

"Sirwe have physicians who can see to her."

"And we have two thousand wounded that need them," the Doctor replied. "It looks horrible, but her wound is a simple entry and exit wound of a projectile. I need the searer and the synthetic skin," he muttered. Apparently, no one moved because she heard his characteristic, impatient sigh. "Immediately would be nice."

Several other masculine voices responded and she heard several pairs of feet run off. 

"Woman is injured?" 

The question was asked in a rough, almost hesitant, barely understandable tone. 

"Yes, yes, she is, Trock."

"Woman is your woman?" 

The Doctor sighed. "In a manner of speaking, Trock. I have affection for her. She's a friend. Pad her shoulderput your jacket next to her armthat's it, thank you."

"You have two women?"

"Have two women? Heavens no, Trock. Peri is a very young woman. She is under my protection. I don't have her the way you are stating." Tegan felt him prod at her wound but couldn't respond. She felt too weak to do so. 

"But this one? I should protect her like I do you, Supreme?"

She sensed the Doctor was smiling and heard a small, quiet chuckle. "Well, not quite. I don't think you should follow her into the bathroom, but in other things, yes."

"Young and fit, Supremo. She will bear good pups for you."

Tegan felt the Doctor hesitate and then his fingers checked her pulse. "Yes, Trock. That she would. But Tegan is not my mate. She will bear me no pups. Ah, thank you, gentlemen. T'ruk? You have medical experience in the field, do you not? Good, hold her head and shoulder still, please." She then felt his cool breath near her face, on her cheek. "Tegan? Tegan, can you hear me?"

She tried to open her mouth and answer him, but all that came out was a squeak. Her throat felt like it was on fire and her arm throbbed. After a few more prodding sentences, she managed to blink open her eyes. His blue, warm eyes were just above hers. "Ah, there you are, Tegan. Wonderful that you could join us. You have a projectile wound in your left shoulder. I'm going to sear it closed and put on the synthetic skin. You did this once for me, remember? But apparently the wound is a little infected. I'll have to drain it first. That's why you feel so weak. Just relax, but stay with me. I know it'll hurt"

"I know," she whispered. 

The smile he gave her reminded her that somewhere in that uniform clad Warlord, her friend remained. 

He nodded to the Draconian over her shoulder and she felt the blue man's hand close over her ears to hold her steady. She couldn't stand staring at the ceiling, so she stared at the Doctor and watched him bite his lip and concentrate on her wound. Eventually, as he poked and prodded her wound, she closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. It seemed to stem her pain. And somehow, she supposed, she fell asleep.

**

"Morning, Tegan."

She blinked her eyes and turned to look at Peri. The girl was in new clothes, a black pantsuit and was clean. When Peri was sure she was conscious and would remain that way, she moved her chair over and picked up her hand. "We were worried about you. Apparently the fact that we'd been wet for weeks and underfed led to an infection settling in your wound pretty darn quickly. But you're fine now. The Doc cleared out the wound and bandaged you up like a boy scout."

"Where are we?"

"On board the Doc's command ship. Imagine: that sweet cricketer is a warlord now. He's the Supremo we've been hearing so much about lately." Peri shook her head. "Pretty messed up if you ask me. I would think it would be just about anybody else in the Universe but him. But, boy, am I glad we found him again."

Tegan nodded. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Just the night, maybe eight hours," Peri responded. "But I suppose you want to go see him, don't you? I think you should sleep more and get something hot to eat."

"Hell yes, I want to see him," Tegan growled. "Are you going to help me or"

"I'll help you," Peri laughed. "I've learned better than to keep the Scourge down. Besides, the temporary government leader on Sylvana has named you the on board liaison for military talks between Sylvana and the Intergalactic Forces."

That made Tegan laugh as well. She weakly sat up and rubbed at her injured shoulder. "What on Earth  
Sylvana doesn't have a military, Peri. And it didn't have a standing government, either. Who is the temp leader?"

"Johan."

"He's alive?" Tegan was ecstatic.

"Apparently he was very injured, and after we all left, he played dead to avoid being taken as a prisoner and when the Intergalactic Forces took over, he helped to lead them to the main camp"

"That's wonderful," Tegan nearly shouted. A few tears of happiness leaked from her eyes. "I can't think of a better person to do that, but mea liaison? A military liaison?"

"He's united most of the small guerrilla groups. And you're the main liaison. He wants to give support to the Intergalactic forces, but knows you won't over promise what Sylvana has to offer." Peri smiled and leaned forward to take her hand. "I know what you and Johan meant to each other, Tegan. I'm happy for you. We'll have to get you down to see him."

Tegan nodded. "Wonderful. Does he know who we are to the Doctoror Supremo?"

"No," Peri shrugged. "I didn't think to tell him. It didn't seem important at the time." She looked over her shoulder. "You should see what he sent to you to wear to have meetings in"

Tegan groaned. "I'm very afraid"

"The Scourge afraid?" Peri laughed. "That'll be the day." 

"Let me talk to him before you put me in any monkey suit, all right?" Tegan barked. "Do we have something like what you're wearing?"

Peri smiled and held up an identical pantsuit to her own. "Let's get you into it."

**

Tegan slowly made her way down the corridor. So far, she had been stopped by two large Ogrons, or at least that was what T'ruk had called them. They had wanted to know if she was the Supremo's woman. She didn't quite know how to answer the question and had nodded in agreement. "I'm a friend of his, yes."

T'ruk had pointed the direction as the large being broke off to walk down another corridor, making his excuses. "I must see to my men and make plans for the planet fall on our next target. If I might take your leave, Tegan of Sylvania? Supremo is waiting for your presence. He is in his conference room at the end of the corridor."

Only another pair of Ogrons barred her way into the conference room. As soon as they recognized her, they parted and she found herself in another smaller, yet infinitely formal room. Somehow, the room was filled with dark wood, paneling and books upon books upon books. It looked like a transplanted room from the TARDIS, she thought. Or her father's study at home. As soon as she opened the door, she became the center of attention of the two men inside. One she knew.

The Doctor sat behind a large glass and wood desk, surrounded by star charts and compilations of papers with Lord knew what on it. The room was fairly dark; the only light in the room shone down on his head like a spotlight. His blond hair had grown darker in the last year, but it still fell in fine wisps about his brow. And when his gaze lifted, she found she felt warm and protected again. He rose as did the man he was talking to and they both faced her. The other man was wearing an ornate uniform, quite different from the clothes that the Doctor wore. He was a full head shorter and a little heavier than her friend. He looked older too, but Tegan knew better than to assume age by appearance after being around the Doctor for as long as she had. He had dark brown hair and a piercing gaze.

"Tegan," the Doctor said, happily. He rounded the desk and approached her. When he drew within a couple of feet of her, he stopped, suddenly undecided about his direction and action. "Your arm?"

"Better," she said her voice hoarse. She caressed her elbow with one hand. Her own voice sounded small and almost childlike to her ears as she continued. "I thought you were dead."

The other man laughed and rose. "Supreme Commander? I think you should spend a little time with your friendTegan, is it? It's wonderful to meet you, dear. Shall I order a meeting tomorrow with your Commanders?"

"That sounds excellent, Vidal," the Doctor replied, his eyes not leaving Tegan. "Have the meeting start at 0700 standard, please."

"As you wish, Supremo," Vidal responded and rose. Before Tegan even knew he was going to leave, the man had left through a side door. 

And the Doctor was staring at her. 

"Where have you been?" she asked quietly. "Rabbits, I thought you were dead."

"I assure you, Tegan," he replied, his voice equally quiet. "I am quite alive and very much well."

"You took your time finding us," she stated, fighting her urge to embrace him. 

"The Universe is a rather large place," the Doctor stated, his voice just a tad bit louder than a whisper. "I was trying to find you; this was the easiest way to comb the largest space possible for you, for Peri."

She tilted her head to the side, lifting her good hand to rub at her hair. She had left it down from her ponytail and her head ached. His head inclined, as if to make his eyes more shadowed, softer. Unable and quite unwilling to continue with the distance as it was, both physically and emotionally, she took the last two steps to him. His arms were already open.

He gently held her, his arm avoiding her injury. Her cheek lay against his cool linen shirt and cooler body underneath. She expected his arms to hold her loosely, but she was surprised by the sheer force of his embrace. There were no words said, she couldn't talk. It had been so long since she had smelled his familiar scent and felt his cool skin. She didn't want to talk, she just wanted to hold him and be held.

__

"I'm quite taken with you, Tegan." She had felt his arms about her then too. They had been dancing at a restaurant in London. She wore a simple black dress; he wore a simple suit.   
"That's quite the ringing endorsement, there, Doc"   
"I'm not good with talking about these things, Tegan."   
"No, and I'm not much better at it, mouth on legs or not."   
His arms had tightened and she had pressed against his cool body: legs to legs, torso to torso, chest to chest. As the song drew to an end and they ended their dance, he had tilted her head back with a finger under her chin. He hadn't kissed her but his eyes were so tender and sweet that she felt like melting. How she had fallen for him so soundly was beyond her comprehension. 

She closed her eyes and let this dark, strange man that was her friend hold her tightly, hearing the words from the past washing over her. 


	3. Chapter 3

He led her down the corridor with his hand at it usual place at the small of her back. 

"Far cry from the TARDIS," she teased. "It's almost as large on the inside as it is on the outside."

"Ah, yes," he responded, his voice so very quiet. She couldn't quite put her finger on what was different about it, but she felt a certain amount of new authority in his tone. "Unfortunately, they don't make ships like Time Machines."

He stopped at a door and punched in a code. It slid open slowly, admitting them into an intimate room. It was done in white, but it was a soft white, she realized. She walked down into the sunken room and across the floor to a huge picture of a star map. At various places on it, she saw the Doctor's characteristic scrawl. She heard his quiet, sedate footfalls behind her as he strolled over to the viewer and her. 

"Your conquests?" she asked quietly.

"Our battles," he corrected. "Conquests indeed. Tegan, what do you think of me?" He drew along side of her and slipped his hands into his trim trouser pockets. 

She turned and glanced at his body. He wore his black uniform nicely. Or rather, she thought, it wore him. His shoulders seemed broader, his arms longer in the tailored shirt. His always lean waist looked impossibly thin in the black pants. His thighs looked almost to stretch the seams. It was more tailored and tight than she had seen on him previously. She returned her gaze to his face and saw him blue eyes contemplating her. "That the warlord image agrees with you."

He kept her gaze for only a moment longer before his eyes drifted downwards as if startled or embarrassed. He blinked and then rubbed at the back of his neck. "Tegan, I'm not a warlord."

"You're the Supreme Coordinator of one of the largest intergalactic forces ever assembled," she replied, her voice tight. She glanced about the room next. "Doc, guns aren't your style."

"I haven't carried one," he defended. She heard him turn to watch her as she crossed the room to look at a small table set for two. 

"You bloody well haven't needed to, have you?" she said, sarcastically. Turning she surveyed the star chart again, seeing the gold marks that clearly stood for the Intergalactic Fleet. "All you need to do is say where and when and terror descends from the sky, doesn't it?"

"Are we going to have an argument about the ethics of war, Tegan?" he asked, lightly, but she could hear the tightness in his voice. 

"There are no ethics in war," Tegan stated. "Each side has their own ethics, but in the middle ground, it gets lost in translation."

"Point taken," he replied, but walked down the stairs at a clipped rate. "War is wrong on all sides and violence is the wrong side of the coin no matter how you look at it. But answer me one question, Tegan. Well, no, actually answer me two questions. One: how does one fight fire? And two: what were you and Peri doing on Sylvana? Hmm?" 

He stopped within a foot of her and she saw him bend to glance closely at her. She immediately became defensive. "I haven't seen you in a year. When I left you, you were standing in the middle of a fire fight, arguing with both sides that fighting wasn't the answer to the problem. You stayed behind to possibly get killed and definitely get separated from us to try and stop the fighting. And then I show up here and hell's teeth, you're leading an army. Excuse me if I'm a tad bit surprised."

With gritted teeth, he turned and ran his hand through his hair. "I found out who was leading the aggressors, Tegan. And when I found that out, I had to do something. I'm a Time Lord."

"What does that have to do with anything?" she pressed. She desperately wanted to just forget, but she was angry. A year lost, a year separated, a year she and Peri had been fighting a war on a planet and a year during which he had changed; she wanted answers. She had to have them before she could relax. 

"Everything."

The word was said with such anger and passion that she took a step back. He met her eyes fearlessly and without hesitation. "It has everything to do with my Time Lord heritage, Tegan."

"Why?"

Her challenge brought a small smile to his face that she knew was sarcasm being given life without words. "Because the person on the other side of this war is a Time Lord. The General as Sylvana calls him is a Time Lord. One of the best; one of the worst, depending to whom you talk. But he is one of the most infamous in our history. When I found out that he was on a Death March across the Galaxy, I knew it was a Time Lord problem. And one that we had to take care of. Somehow, they thought I was the best for the job" he nearly spat.

She had stilled, listening to the angry words tumble out of his mouth like water over rocks. She heard the passion in them that she had only heard twice in her time with him. And when his gaze returned to her, boring into hers, she saw a tortured, more cynical version of her Doctor staring back at her. But she felt the pent up passion and pain in him and the need to yell to the heavens about the injustice of the universe. Almost in a trance, she touched his arm. "I think we have a lot to talk about" she commented quietly.

"An understatement, Tegan," he agreed with a kinder, gentler smile gracing his lips. He held out his hand to her. "And I don't expect you to understand"

"I'll be the judge of that," she replied, taking his hand. "But I demand that you start at the very beginning."

**

They had abandoned the table before they had eaten the first course and had moved to the small floor table that was tucked into a nook. It was more intimate, but neither of them thought of it as such. It was simply a place where they felt more at ease and conversation was easier. He sat across the table, his long legs stretched out to the side. She sat, her injured arm resting on the chair behind her, and her legs tucked under her body. 

"So" she pressured. She picked up an orange and began to peel it. "Continue"

"Wellafter talking with President Marin about the situation on Sarn and that the Time Lords should be told, I tried to trace the transport that you and Peri had boarded. I traced it as far as Tranix"

"We passed there and went on to the next port of call. We crashed before that" she supplied. "Bloody bastard General"

The Doctor nodded. "When I reached Tranix, I found that you and Peri had not disembarked there and that the transport hadn't been heard from since. All on board were considered dead and lost" his voice tightened and he reached for his wine glass. He swirled it, staring into it. "I knew there was still hope, though. And at that time, I heard that Marin needed an ambassador to Gallifrey to ask for support and help. He begged me to go."

Tegan popped a wedge of orange in her mouth and chewed it slowly. The Doctor met her gaze and nodded before sipping his wine. "I went, trying to convince the High Council of the need to rein in Morbius. He was our tyrant, our monster and we set him loose on the galaxy with nary a blink. Eventually, they agreed. But before they did, they locked me in a pretty prison and let me go when I agreed to lead the force. They needed someone who had wide experience in mediation and with alien cultures. One who had traveled a great deal"

"Well, put that way," Tegan supplied, a tad sarcastically. "After the Time Lords I met, you're the only one that would fit that bill."

"That's why they worded the job requirements that way. I'm not quite them, am I?" he replied, leaning forward on the table. His wine glass was set down, empty. "They would rather me deal with the problem. After all, I'm the one that called them on the carpet for it, wasn't I? And I was the one that argued ethics and morals. So, they enlisted me for the job. But" he held up a finger as though pointing to the sky. "It wasn't exclusive to my searching for you and Peri. In fact, if I were able to put together a diverse and large army, when they joined or when we conquered new planets, I could look for you."

She nodded. It did make sense to her. After all, the Universe was rather a large place. She watched as the Doctor filled their wine glasses again.

"And so" he continued, sighing. "That was one year ago. Since then, the Intergalactic Armada has grown quite extensive. And we've been liberating the planets in reverse order, following in Morbius' footsteps. He's like Hitler, Tegan. Stalin. To leave him unchecked is inadvisable and terrible. He'll leave millions, if not billions dead."

Tegan held up her hand to stop him. "I've heard. And I've heard how merciful the Supremo is."

The Doctor opened his mouth, but she continued before he could speak. "I would expect nothing less, if it's you. But Doctor" she breathed.

"Survival, Tegan," he returned. He sat back from the table to contemplate her. "And you, Tegan? The report I received is that you and Peri and the rest of that rag-tag fighting group you were in turned up after a guerrilla strike on the General's men. And that you turned up heavily armed."

"There's a bit of difference between defending your homes, your life and pursuing and actively fighting, isn't there?" she pressed, not willing to talk about her past year quite yet.

"It depends on moral code, culture and personal preference, but yes and no," his voice grew duskier as he talked. "You're getting better at avoiding questions, Tegan. What were you and Peri doing on Sylvana?"

"Defending our home," she said simply. "Sylvana adopted us and we adopted it."

"Ah, yes" he muttered, a smile appearing on his lips. "By guerrilla warfare."

"The General was decimating Sylvana," Tegan began heatedly. "There would have been nothing left: the farms, the livestock, the people, everything was either getting taken or killed by this Morbius person."

"Ah, so you were waging war," he nodded knowingly. She anticipated an argument and put her hands down on the table. 

"It wasn't like this" she stopped as the Doctor's cool hand covered hers. The shock of the familiar touch stilled for a moment, but when she tried to continue, he quietly said her name. 

"Tell me."

"Rabbits! You make it sound like I'm going to tell you I was at a weekend test match, Doc. It was horrible," she replied, her accent very harsh as the emotion in her words grew. He made no move to comfort; he made no noises of acceptance. She knew that was for her benefit. "The transport crash landed on Sylvana about a year ago. Peri and I and a few others survived. Had a few cuts and bruises, but nothing life threatening. She nursed a fair number of people while I looked for shelter and help. We found a family and they took us inbut thenthe family was" she took a deep breath. 

Lifting her eyes, she met his and grew surer of herself. "The family was killed except for the father. He and Peri and I took what tools and weapons we could find and set about protecting ourselves and exacting revenge against the General. The group grew and became part of a network. Guerrilla fighting. We've been living and fighting in the jungles of Sylvana for almost ten months."

The Doctor nodded. "I've had several reports about the Sylvana Fighting Force. Disorganized on large scale but exceedingly effective."

"Gee, thanks a lot," she groused. "We all drew very close. But being beautiful didn't cross our minds."

He nodded. But there seemed little else to say. Tegan didn't want to offer her nightmares in conversation and definitely didn't want to tell him about seeing death as much as she had. She didn't want to tell the Doctor about nursing Peri when she was sick. The terrible feeling that her new friends would die and she would be alone. 

"It was horrible," she whispered. "Too much death."

"War always gives too much death," he responded. "And this war is far from over." 

Silence descended between them. She drank her wine; he drank his. He rose and retrieved something she recognized as dessert. But as the fare was laid on the table, she found she didn't want to eat. 

Lifting her eyes from the dessert to his gaze, she saw his blue eyes dark and wonderfully deep. In his black clothing, he looked like the rebel, bad boy that her mother had always warned her about. Simply, she said: "I thought you were dead. After three months, I gave up hope."

His gaze turned sad; the blue in them turned stormy gray. "After six months, I began to despair of ever seeing you or Peri again," he admitted, lowly. "But where there's life, there's hope. I kept hoping you were well and alive."

She swallowed. "We're alive."

The Doctor leaned forward and Tegan self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you all right?" he asked, calmly, yet intensely.

"About as all right as you are," she responded. His eyebrows arched over his eyes but she refused to say more. She knew she was right; she could practically see the stresses and wounds in his gaze. He held her gaze until she dropped her sight to his and her wine glasses. She glanced around the room, taking in the star charts and desk and other war paraphernalia. Then she nodded to his wine glass, empty again. "You drink now," she said simply. "If the sight of all this war stuff hadn't already alerted me to you having changed, the wine glass in your hand would have sealed it for me."

**

He walked toward the door, his hand wrapped firmly about her fingers. "You should sleep, Tegan; the infection did take a bit out of you."

She frowned. "And you have meetings in the morning that you have to prepare for," she supplied. He nodded, slowly, removing his hand from hers and lowered it to the small of her back. "With the Military Liaison for Sylvana," she continued.

"Wellyes," he said slowly. "That meeting should be easier than my staff meetings, I hope."

"Oh, I think it will be," she nearly laughed. She slipped her arm around his back as his wrapped more firmly around her waist. 

The door opened as if on cue and Vidal entered, tall and formal. He gave an unwary glance toward Tegan and then addressed the Doctor. "Supremo, sir. You have a late visitor. And it is of some importance. Apparently you were expecting her earlier this evening?" His dark eyes settled on her and Tegan felt as though she was under a microscope. Unconsciously and somewhat inebriated, she leaned closer to the Doctor. Vidal watched the way that she turned her face toward him and the way that he held her closely. 

"Or should I tell her you are otherwise disposed?" 

Tegan's eyes opened wide. The thought that she and the Doctor might spend the evening otherwise engaged had existed on her mind's peripheral most of the evening, and had he seemed almost strained with keeping distance from her. The possibility of sleeping with the Doctor sent a liquid shock through her system. Then he shook his head slowly, more for his aide then for Tegan. "No, Vidal that would be very rude. After all, she did travel a very long distance to be here. Show her to the Planning room. I shall be there presently."

Vidal nodded and shut the door, almost bowing. Tegan frowned as the door shut and looked up at the Doctor. "She? You had another meeting with a woman?"

"A diplomatic meeting," he corrected with a sigh. 

"I was going to say that a LOT more had changed about you if it were otherwise," she stated and began to walk away from him. "As you have a meeting now, I suppose I should show myself back to my quarters-"

His hand wrapped about her wrist. "Tegan"

She didn't know why she was upset, but the confusion she felt made her sore. "I'll see you tomorrow, Supreme Coordinator."

With an eye roll that was incredibly heartwarming in its familiarity, she was pulled toward him. She kept eye contact as he brought her completely into his arms. "Tegan, she's a diplomatic envoy. I owe her my attention."

"I see," she said.

His sigh was almost comical. He tilted her chin up with his finger and held it there as he searched her eyes. He pressed a cool, close kiss to her lips, eliciting a shock of forgotten warmth along her nerves. Her hands curled into his hair as he smiled and leaned in again to kiss her cheeks and once below her right eye. "We've both changed over the last year, Tegan."

She nodded in agreement. "Too right."

"Before we separated, I knew we cared a great deal for one another. I wanted to give us time to equilibrate again, to each other"

"Contrary to your belief," Tegan replied, frowning a bit as she searched his eyes. "I'm not thinking about sex, Doctor. I had wanted to be closer to you this evening, but you're right, some things have changed."

"Hmm, yes" he stated, brushing his thumbs over her cheeks. "Not the least of which, the length of your hair."

"Oho, commenting on physical"

"I quite like it," he smiled. He lowered his hands from her face and put them on her hips. "And I _have _quite missed you, but desperate need and meaningful evenings don't mix well in my book."

Tegan lifted an eyebrow and contemplated him. What he said was very true and to simply try to forget the last year had existed the way it had and to stay the night in his arms wouldn't be good for either one of them. "I hate it when you're right, you know."

"Yes, wellthen some things do indeed reign eternal," he joked. "Get some sleep, Tegan, out of the rain for once." 

He pressed one last kiss to the bridge of her nose. Then he turned her leading her to the door with his hand at her back again. "I'll see you in the morning. We can celebrate when we are both more comfortable again and you are well rested. Vidal will show you back to Peri and your rooms."

Tegan turned and lifted an eyebrow. 

"It's a matter of ethics, Tegan. Never mix business and pleasure," he explained. "That includes meetings and diplomatic envoys. But I do need to meet with this messenger."

She stopped at the door. "I've missed you more than I thought possible," she commented. "And you are rightif I stayed with you tonight, I don't think I'd be able to remember we've been separated a year and in the morning"

"In the morning, you'd wonder if it was the same or if it was the situation," he sighed. "Yes, well, I do know. I've missed you too, Tegan. And for the record," he cleared his throat. "If the feeling I have had of being separated from you for the last year was like the one I would have had had you left me back in the warehouse Yes, well" he shook his head. "I've missed you dreadfully."

She sighed and smiled, turning to the door. She was suddenly tired and in need of her bed. As she walked out the door and saw his dark eyes still on her, she realized that a great deal had changed about him. He would have never said those things before, and he hadn't held her so closely or so strongly previously.

__

She nibbled on the flesh at his neck. Before she could back away, he pressed her against the console, drawing her harshly to him, kissing her soundly, almost brusingly. She clawed at his shoulders, drawing the linen into bunches in her fingers. Cool, icy cold beneath and his cool, moist, possessed breath against her skin. He had lowered his head, his gaze from her and put his forehead against her chin. "Rassilon, Tegan." His hands had slapped the metal of the console with some force. 

Vidal was waiting for her at the turn as she came out of her memories. He had shivered that night, blaming Lord knows what for his lack of control. He had made good on his promise of a bed; it had only been their second time, but he had made sure it was in the cool cotton sheets of a bed. His bed. 

"Lady Tegan, you and the Doctor are good friends, yes?"

She nodded slowly. "The best. Or at least I thought we were" she sighed. Then she gave him a tight smile. "Time will tell."


	4. Chapter 4

****

Incoming communiqué 23.8923.b from Sylvana.

Received Galactic Standard 0730

To: Tegan Jovanka Undar

"Tegan?"

"Johan, Thank God."

Johan smiled widely. "I take it that you thought I was dead."

"Well" Tegan sighed and slid into the seat in front of the videophone. "You were lying rather still and were injured terribly. Cripes, if I had thought there was even a chance"

He shook his head. "No. You did the right thing. You had to move the group on. And as you can see" he held his arms wide, his movements a little pained. "I'm alive and well."

"It's truly wonderful," she nodded. Then she leaned forward. "You sent this communiqué to Tegan Undar. Johan"

"You and Peri adopted me; I adopted you. On Sylvana, you're known by the family name of Undar."

She lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "All right. But it's your dime, Johan."

"What?"

With a self-defeating shake of her head, she frowned. "Never mind; never mind. I have the meeting with Supremo in an hour; I suppose you have something you want me to take in to him."

"He's your friend you told me about, right? The Doctor?"

She glanced over at Peri who smiled back. With a slow nod of her head, she agreed. "Yes, he is the Doctor."

"Are you sure you want to be an envoy? For us?" he asked, urgently, sitting forward. 

Tegan sighed and lowered her eyes. She had been thinking about that very topic for the last day. A love of Sylvana had grown in her over the last year; she was in this situation, a situation with a deadly war. She could do something helpful. "Yes," she said quietly. "For once, I want to help people live instead of shooting them."

Johan looked in her eyes for a long silent moment and then nodded. "I'm sending a private communiqué to you with our needs and what we can offer. Wear the official clothes I sent you."

Tegan glanced down at the pile of papers that filed out of the machine. She glanced at them and up to Johan's eyes. "We're counting on you," he said quietly.

"I won't let you down," she replied. The communication ended silently.

She glanced down at the papers again and her eyes widened.

**

"Good heavens."

Tegan squinted at Peri and shook her head. "I don't look that horrible, do I? Do you think I ought to take it off?"

"Good grief, no," Peri muttered and then came towards Tegan again to tuck in a stray tail of material. "You look like royalty."

Tegan felt subconscious and frowned. "It's the stubborn chin; my dad always told me I had one."

Peri clucked her tongue and disagreed. "No, it's the costume and your body. Definitely look like a diplomatic envoy. You'll command respect, I dare say."

With a sigh, Tegan picked up the hem of her dress and stepped down towards the mirror. She eyed the dress with a critical eye. It was floor length and was the color of dusky lavender a shade lighter than her air hostess uniform had been. Her mother would have called it a peasant cut dress. It was off the shoulder and showed a fair amount of skin; the flares at her mid-calf allowed her to be able to take steps. "Well," she sighed, louder. "It'll have to do. I feel like a trumped up peasant girl in this. You haven't told the Doctor who the envoy is, have you?"

"Good Lord, and ruin the fun?" Peri laughed. "No. He was a little surprised that I had been fighting in the Force with you."

Tegan smiled. "You're the back-up diplomatic envoy, you know. Johan is sending up a dress for you as well."

"Great," Peri muttered. "I'll officially hate it, of course, but between you and me, I'll love it."

Tegan's smile grew and she laughed freely. Then, quite happily, she reached out and hugged her friend. "I've got to get to this meeting. Do you want to come along?"

Peri frowned. "I need to tally the final numbers for the relief force. When that's done, I'll bring them in to you."

Tegan groaned. "Maths."

Both women laughed at the harsh sound of her complaint. 

**

Tegan paused outside the door. Her hands were sweaty, but she couldn't tell why. The papers she held outlined what needed to happen; she wasn't on her own. She had been holding guns to people for the last year; a simple diplomatic meeting with a friend surely shouldn't unnerve her. It had to be the dress, she decided.

__

His lips at her neck, the feeling of the console, cold, harsh, sharp, cutting into her back. The strength of his arm under her, lifting her, placing her gently on the edge of the hexagonal shape. She had gasped out about Peri; he had answered with a quiet moan. "Just a little while longer," she had chided, nearly having her breath stolen from her as he pressed his lips against her. "You've driven me crazy half the night," he chided in return, holding her hard against him as his lips plundered hers. "This damnable dress" "I thought you liked it" she breathed, her hands pulling at his hair. 

He had liked it. He'd liked it enough to leave it neatly folded on the chair when he helped strip it off of her later that evening. 

"Lady Tegan?" Vidal breathed, leaning close to her. "Are you all right?"

She shook her head and pinned her sight on Vidal. He was wearing a very ornate uniform and Tegan found that it quite matched his personality, the little of it she had had the pleasure of knowing. She frowned and looked at him back. "You're a Time Lord, aren't you?"

"Very astute, my dear," he replied with a nod. "And you are a diplomatic envoy. Ethics would have dictated that you shouldn't have had dinner with Supremo last evening."

She straightened her spine and fixed her stare completely on him. "I would never use my friendship with the Doctor to my advantage like that. Besides, I don't feel I owe you an explanation." With a firm shake of her head, she shifted the papers between her hands. "And you. You've been sent by the High Council to keep tabs on the Doctor, haven't you?"

Vidal straightened his back and nodded. "I've been sent to be his ally, his"

"Spy, you mean," Tegan nearly barked before she recovered her composure. She drew back her shoulders. "I've seen enough spies in the last year that I can smell them a mile away." 

The Time Lord was taken aback by the force in her voice. Then he released a small laugh. "A human woman the protector of a Time Lord?"

"We've been through a hell of a lot," Tegan warned quietly. 

"And you've been separated from him for what? A Terran year?" Vidal frowned, contemplating her. "I hadn't realized that human friendship was that strong."

"You'd be surprised what human friendship is capable of," she said back so lowly that it almost made her throat ache. "Does he know you're a spy?"

"I have made him aware"

"Spoke in riddles you mean," she shot back. "That doesn't surprise me."

"And I suppose that he will be wonderfully happy to find out that you are the Sylvana representative," Vidal pressed.

Tegan frowned, but Vidal held up his hand. "We've talked enough; Supremo awaits." Without giving her another moment to gather herself, he turned around and pushed open the door. 

She lifted her chin and entered the room.

**

He had risen from his chair behind the desk at the sound of the door opening. Immediately she was struck by his completely tidy and militaristic appearance. He wore a crisp new black uniform with insignia on the arm. His trousers were proudly pressed and his shoes were spit polished. He made it around the edge of his desk before he stopped, staring, at her.

_"Is it wrong?"_

"Is what wrong?"

"Wanting you."

His spine straightened quickly, almost snapping him to his full height. His eyes became hazed, gray, and stormy. She held his gaze as she neared the desk, both daring him to say something and condemning him to say nothing. He swallowed harshly. She could hear the sound at the distance.

"Tegan," he croaked. "Are you well this morning?"

"I'm fine," she replied, quietly.

His gaze left her eyes and lowered to quickly glance over her dress. She felt warm as she saw his sight lingering on her legs, hips and chest. Then he met her eyes full on with a force that left her rocking, weighted where she stood. 

"You look different," he said, and she couldn't put her finger on the emotion that radiated from him. It sounded a struggle to keep his voice calm. 

"A ringing endorsement," she joked, recalling their last evening together.

His eyes avoided hers and she saw the 'great General' reduced to an uneasy, unsure man. "Tegan"

She closed her eyes, sighed and shook her head. "Rabbits, I haven't changed, have I? How are you this morning, Supreme Coordinator?"

He rolled his eyes. She could see tension building in his shoulders; she knew enough of his body to know the set of his chin, the squaring of his chest, the way that he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Quite well, although I do have meeting. Could I ask you to meet me for dinner later-?"

Tegan sighed. "That won't be necessary," she frowned and steeled herself for his ire. "I am your meeting, Doc. I'm the envoy from Sylvana."

He stopped all movement and frowned. In an effort to fend off the explosion she knew was coming, she put down her papers on the meeting table and put her hands on her hips. "I hadn't made my mind up to do this until this morning. Johan is asking me to do this"

"Johan Undar?" he asked, as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and stepped to the side to consult the papers on his desk. "He is the head of the temporary government on Sylvana," he glanced up at her, somewhat accusing. "And you know him personally?"

"Johan was the man that adopted Peri and I when we crashed on Sylvana," she replied. "He was the head of the Fighting Force."

The Doctor frowned and pulled the paper towards him. He slipped his hands into his pockets viciously. "Ah, I see. I had thought that this man that had adopted you was known as the Scourge, but it's mentioned that the Scourge was known as the heart. Peri also said that the Head and the Heart worked closely together." He pulled his hands out of his pockets and put them down on the desk, leaning forward to face her. She felt her insides flop as she realized that his steeled gaze was completely and utterly intent on her. "The paper I received this morning from Sylvana informed me that the Scourge was the liaison I was to meet. TeganI do believe there is a great deal that you haven't told me of your time on Sylvana."

"A bit."

"Just a bit?" he asked quietly. She could feel his irritation growing. 

"Hell's Teeth," she grunted. "Doctor" She patted the air with her hands as if trying to beat information back into the background. "I'm here for a meeting."

"A diplomatic meeting with me about the status of an army on a planet to which you aren't native," he remarked. He raised his eyebrows and contemplated her; the rocking forward on his toes was calculated to her practiced gaze. 

"A planet that adopted me," she shot back. "And one that I owe a great deal to, Doc."

With a grunt, he lowered his head. 

"What bothers you more," she bit out. "The fact that we're now in way over our heads interfering, or that I am your meeting?" She leaned forward, her hands clenching on the edge of the table. "As far as I can see it, you can't ask me to be anything less than what I am. If it had been anybody else in this position, you would have to deal with them as you do me. You're interfering; I'm interfering, but if it wasn't you or me, it would be someone else, Doctor." 

She recognized the nearly unfocused gaze in his eyes. She had seen it when Adric died and when Nyssa had left. It was pain, she realized quickly. "But it's you and me, Tegan. And if you hadn't been lost, I wouldn't be in this position."

"It's not my fault you were drafted, Doc," she crossed her arms over her chest. He approached her, his eyes heavy lidded. "Don't blame me for situations. It wasn't that I could do anything about the situation once the ball started rolling downhill. When we landed on Sylvana, Peri and I both thought it was our home. We didn't know about you, or what had become of you. And we decided to have some initiative for ourselves and live. What was happening down there was wrong. We weren't on the outside looking in; we couldn't make a judgment call."

He rounded the table, hell-bent and upset. "How much fighting did you see?"

Tegan reared her head as he approached. "That isn't the point. Hell's Teeth" she reached for the papers and held them up between them, bunched in her fist. "These papers contain what is the point, Supremo. I am to negotiate with you for medical supplies and pledge to you arms and food."

The Doctor waved his hand dismissively in the air. "Yes, yes. That's all quite normal, Tegan. I can guarantee that anything Sylvana needs will be delivered to the best of our ability; the arms and food will be quite acceptable. I've negotiated at least seven times in the last month for exactly the same things. Odds are: the needed medical supplies are already on their way planetside."

"Well thank bloody God for that," she quipped. 

His eyes, now a heated blue, swept over hers, searing her. "Would it help you if I were to look over the offerings? Would it allow us to have a conversation?"

"Business before pleasure," she returned, holding up the papers to him. His eyes darkened so much in anger that she swore they were black. "And yes, Doctor, I do know how to use your own words against you. I thought your first issue was to deal with this war."

He took the papers, his half-moon glasses appearing out of his breast pocket like a magician's rabbit out of a hat. His eyes skimmed the lines. "The offerings of arms aren't needed. Sylvana's armament is several centuries behind the current military science offerings," he said, and she shivered from the complete change in his voice from just moments before. Somehow his voice had become colder than his body temperature. "The food is more than adequate. Sylvana is, after all, known as the bread basket of the galaxy." He whipped off his glasses. "Are you authorized to negotiate trade?"

"Quite," she rocketed back. "You wish to negotiate a trade route for food, don't you?"

"The peripheral of the Intergalactic Force is unable to adequately feed their soldiers and the supply lines are getting stretched from the home planets," he quietly stated his voice tight. "We need one hundred metric tons per week."

She frowned. "That's a high order. Seventy-five percent of the commercial agricultural farms were decimated. We might be able to give fifty and that only at a high price."

"Ah, quite. You'll need to jump start the economy once more," he approved, his voice rising in timber and decibel as he turned away to walk back to his desk. "And I can guarantee that taxation isn't the best way at this point." He tapped his fingers against the desk. "Eighty, Tegan."

"Seventy-five," she replied as she glanced at another couple of papers. 

His voice could freeze hell when he turned back around and faced her. "Eighty, Tegan. I have soldiers dying of hunger."

"And I have a planet where soldiers have been dying of hunger themselves as they fought for freedom."

"Eighty. I'll go no lower."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Is this negotiation separate from the medical supplies?"

"I'll not withhold medical help to those in need just as Sylvana has seen fit to feed my soldiers that are here, but once we leave, that negotiation is null and void. No, it is not separate."

"Very well," she nearly growled. She pulled back the chair and sat down. With a sigh, she began to do a series of standard equations, easy and basic accounting. He leaned against the desk and watched her. Eventually, she rose and presented him with a pad. "Eighty. Bread, grains and legumes. At this price. Do you accept?"

"We need dark leafy vegetables," he replied, glancing at her work. "And at that price"

"At that price, you could afford to buy half the bread, and only add on possibly 10 metric tons of vegetables," she responded. "If we are to ship out most of our food to you and will have to conceivably transfer vegetable production to grain and legume production, we'll need to be able to buy what we need to replace what is gone."

"Eighty-five with three metric tons of vegetables," he stated. 

"Eighty with five metric tons of vegetables," she shot back. 

He lifted an eyebrow and contemplated her in silence. "Have you the negotiation treaty paperwork?"

"No. I shall radio Johan and the new minister will draw up the needed forms."

"Very well. I agree," he nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Radio the information and I shall sign it upon completion. You have my word."

She sighed, nodding. "Thank bloody God for that."

The Doctor gave her a stare she couldn't interpret and turned to press a button on the desk. At the beep, he gave an order she was surprised to hear. "Vidal? I require another basic diplomatic meal served tonight. The envoy from Sylvana will be joining me. I think the main meeting hall shall do. Four hours, if you please."

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line and then Vidal's clipped voice responded:   
"Very well, Supremo."

"Oh, and I shall require your attendance to serve as a witness to a diplomatic treaty signing. Please bring along one more representative."

"As you command, Supremo."

As the line went dead, Tegan gave him a look. "Dinner?"

"Oh yes," the Doctor said and leveled his gaze at her once more. "You and I have a great deal to discuss, Tegan." 


	5. Chapter 5: Haven't we been here before?

Peri met her at the door to her room. She was leaving as Tegan steadily walked down the corridor. 

As she approached, Tegan contemplated her young friend. She cleaned up well. Her long chestnut hair curled prettily at the nape of her neck, her cheeks were pink and her eyes were sparkling and clear. She was thinner, fitter than she had been when she had joined the Doctor. It wasn't an all around poor look for her, Tegan admitted; in fact, she looked absolutely lovely. 

"You're back?" Peri asked, surprised. "I was just on the way to meet with you and the Doctor" 

"You'll have plenty of time to meet with us tonight," Tegan voiced, a mixture of sarcasm and anger dripping steadily from her tongue. "He wants us to meet with him tonight to sign a trade treaty. I wouldn't advise meeting with him now; he's in one of his moods."

Peri's eyebrows climbed steadily over her eyes as Tegan's spout continued. When Tegan finished, Peri sighed and shook her head. "We've barely found him again and already you two are arguing?"

"He has guessed that you and I weren't just fighting to keep ourselves alive, we were interfering. Actively. Somehow, apparently through a couple of conversations he's had with you and with me, he's pieced together that we were in the high echelons of the Fighting Force. And that has him in a fine temper."

"Why? We had to do it" Peri pressed. "Surely he understands"

Tegan growled under her breath, muttering about interventions. "He even feels that love is an intervention, Peri. Blasted hell, it should be surprising, but it's so typically him"

Peri stifled a smile and Tegan felt her ire rising again. She raised her chin and shook her head. "You don't understand, Peri. He's been like that since I've known him. It's infuriating." She glanced at her watch and shook her head. "You can go see him if you would likeif those Ogrons will let you in. No thank you for me. I'll just wait and get my fill of his anger tonight."

And with that last harsh comment, she turned and entered her quarters, nearly slamming the door shut. 

**

_"How can this be wrong?"_

His eyes infinitely sad, infinitely deep. His hands gripping possessively at her hips. The feel of his cool body along the length of hers. Brushing her hair back with his hand, he gazed at her worried, relaxed, pained and warm all at once.

"Interference, Tegan" he lowered his head and nibbled at her neck. Squirming, liquid heat invading her torso, radiating down her legs, out to her fingers. The feeling of the cool, cool sheets at her back. A dancing flame on the edge of an iced knife A warm chuckle. "This sort of interference could never be right. But Rassilon, I don't want to stop."

When the knock came on her door later, Tegan was quietly sitting, staring at nothing in particular. She had, in a fit of anger, pulled her hair clip from her hair and was too tired to put it back as it was. The knock was heavier, stronger than a human's and she instantly knew that it wasn't Peri calling for her. With a sigh, she moved to the door, dreading to open it.

"Blasted Time Lord, couldn't he just understand that we were doing what we needed to do to live? What did he think Peri and I were going to do? Sit around and wait to get killed?" she muttered, rising to venture to the door. 

Tired. She was tired. She was tired of fighting, tired of arguing, but not willing to stop either if it meant that her freedom would be compromised. She had looked to the reconciling with the Doctor as a respite from the pain, anger and worry of war. It was true that she felt safer, calmer here, but she was dealing with his temper in her interference. She wasn't happy about it in the least.

Still, as she passed the mirror on the wall, looked at her hair curling about her face, her anger still shining in her eyes, the pink to her cheeks and felt a little strength come back into her. With a squaring of her jaw and a pull to straighten of her dress, she stepped to the door and pulled open. The Ogron that stared back at her was extremely attentive and in full military dress.

"Lady Tegan. Supremo wants you."

If she had been in a better mood, the basic utterance of that sentence would have sent her into giggles. As it stood, it brought a tight smile to her face. "Already?"

Tegan nodded and adjusted her dress. "Your name is Trock, yes? I'm ready. You're to escort me?"

The Ogron nodded and stepped back to allow her to exit the room. She did so, slipping by his bulk in the corridor with some difficulty. She stepped quickly in front of Trock as the two of them strode down the corridor, but the much taller Ogron passed her quickly. 

"Supremo angry."

"That's an understatement," Tegan grumbled. "He's livid, Trock."

"Livid?" The Ogron reached out to hold her back as several other Ogrons ran past them at an intersection. 

"Very angry," she explained, folding her hands in front of her as they started walking again. 

"Supremo very angry that mate was in danger."

Tegan frowned as she looked over her shoulder at the alien. "It's not like that, Trock. I'm not his mate; we're friends. And he isn't angry that I was in danger; he is very angry that I was doing something that he thinks I shouldn't have."

Trock's face crumpled as he thought about what she had said. "Supremo male; Lady Tegan female."

"That's the way of it, yes," she muttered. "Wonderful for us, eh?"

"Supremo sad. No smiles. Lady Tegan comes back; Supremo smile; Supremo laugh."

"He was worried about us," Tegan responded. She stopped at another intersection and let the Ogron show her the rest of the way. She took the moment to observe the alien. He was tall with coarse fur or hair. He wore his black uniform proudly. She had heard stories from the Doctor about the Ogrons and Trock with his new uniform, puffed out proud chest and clipped step weren't as he had described. Somehow, the Doctor had garnered a sense of duty to the cause in this being. 

Trock shook his head forcefully, taking her arm in his hand to pull her down another corridor. "No. Supremo very angry mate was in danger. Lady Tegan will bear Supremo many healthy pups. Supremo angry Lady Tegan hurt; angry Lady Tegan not with him; angry Lady Tegan in danger."

"Somehow," she breathed, under her breath as she stepped behind the Ogron to a very familiar door. "I don't think I'm going to win this one." Louder, she addressed the Ogron: "Are we there?"

The Ogron waved his hand at the other Ogrons flanking the door. The two scattered and Trock leaned forward to open the door for her. Trock entered ahead of her to announce her, and then he stepped back towards the door, leaving her standing in the middle of the room. Before she could thank him, he was gone.

**

She found herself alone with the Doctor. She had thought that several people would join them, but as she neared the table, she saw that the trade agreement was there. The parchment paper seemed strange to see in a sleek spaceship. The paper had several signatures on it and in its center was the Doctor's proud scrawl. Her frown grew as she neared it. 

Johan's signature rested in the place of honor with Vidal's and T'ruk's signatures flanking it. 

"Just great," she muttered. She glanced up to see her familiar Time Lord friend leaning against the table and staring at her. She squared her shoulders and shook her head. "I don't understand. I thought I was to come here and sign this treaty." With a sigh, she perused the parchment. Her suggestions were there.

"Your friend Johan was kind enough to join me for the signing this afternoon. We hadn't invited him, but I've learned to become the perfect host," he replied, his eyes trained on her. "As you can see, everything we discussed has remained intact. Johan was quite pleased with your work."

Her eyes narrowed. "Is he still here? I would like to see him."

"Ah, yes. Yes," the Doctor replied, glancing down at the parchment as well. "Yes, he's still onboard. The last planet fall transport is leaving in one hour."

"The last.."

"Yes, quite," he responded, blinking, finally. His eyes trained back on hers and he stuffed his hands in his pockets forcefully. "We've received communications for help and have put together quite enough information to mount an attack on Sarn. The Intergalactic Force will be leaving orbit around Sylvana this evening."

"Another battle," she muttered. "Always another battle."

The Doctor gave her a tight smile and turned away to walk to the wall. On it, spread like a Michelangelo painting, wide and encompassing, was another star chart. It was huge and Tegan found her mouth gaping as she neared it. Still, despite the obvious information that he was trying to make her see, she still had several points to make. 

"Hell and spit," she nearly growled, drawing even with him before he could reach the wall. "You left me in my room while you and Johan signed the treaty like a child. And don't you dare say that I've behaved like a child to be treated as such."

"Oh, far from it, Tegan," he replied, eyeing the map. 

"I would like to see Johan," she stated, turning towards the door. "And as you don't need me here for your diplomatic sham"

His hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her to the board. "You see all the blue pins, Tegan?"

"I can't bloody well see anything else this close," she said, knowing from experience that his strength would far exceed her own. She didn't struggle, but felt his hand tighten on hers like an ice cold vice. 

"Those are Morbius' ships, his fleet if you will. And the gold is our ships and those that have pledged help to us. Do you see the velocity change numbers under the pins?" He bit his lip and didn't give her time to reply to what she had seen. "They haven't changed. And when velocity falls to zero, Tegan, that means that the ship or ships have failed to move. Morbius has stopped. Halted."

Tegan squinted at the board. "You'll have more to it than that" she stated with sarcasm.

"We've stopped him in his tracks. He's going to turn and fight like a cornered animal."

"And he'll bite like a cornered wild animal," she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"No, no, no, Tegan. You've quite missed the point. You complained about battles and more battles. This might be our last battle. In fact, I quite think it will be the end of this conflict," he said, his eyes perusing the chart. Then he glanced at her, his eyes training on her. A small part of her felt weak from the weight of the stare. His eyes were blue as midnight. "Johan's last name is Undar. We received a communication for Tegan Undar this morning."

Tegan opened her mouth, but his hand clamped down on her wrist almost viciously. "Is there something you would like to tell me, Tegan?" She glanced up at his eyes and saw them dark with pain and if she wasn't mistaken, anger. 

She frowned. "DocI'm not married," she shifted her weight. Her fingers were getting cold from the lack of circulation. "That's what you thought isn't it?"

"It had crossed my mind. After all," he said, quiet. It wasn't the quiet of familiarity; it was the quiet of slow boiling, gathering anger. "After all, the Heart and the Head of the Force did work closely together."

"And you think I would have come back up here" she sighed. "Doc, you're hurting me."

He released her hand and she drew it back to herself, cradling it to her chest. "For pity sake, we were getting ratherlast night," she responded. "Johan adopted Peri and me. We've fought with him for a year. Did you think I was going to stay here?"

"It's quite the viable thought," he nearly hissed in return. "Do you know, Johan spent most of the time with the signing telling T'ruk, Vidal and I tales of your and Peri's adventures in the Force? He's quite taken with you."

"I don't want to stay here," she hissed, turning to follow his sudden retreat. "And I don't know what in bloody hell you expect of me here. I do know you, you damn Time Lord, and I know you want to lead me to tell you something. Just" she growled a sigh. "Just come out and say it, please."

The Doctor turned a vision of slim military propriety, black uniform and blond locks. His angered countenance changed him from her Doctor into a military mastermind. It nearly rocked her to her soul. He was dangerous, fiery. "The question I had this afternoon still is unanswered, Tegan."

"How much fighting have I seen?"

He nodded, spearing her with his gaze. She couldn't move. "I would very much appreciate an answer." His tone let her know that appreciation had nothing to do with it; he demanded an answer. "I understand that Peri was quite ill for a time."

"Yes," she replied, finally lowering her gaze from his. Then, she raised her gaze, throwing all her steel into her spine and straightened fully before him. She had survived firefights and illness and death and burial; facing the Doctor was nothing compared to that. She also knew what it was that he was asking. "I tried to keep Peri as separated from the fighting as possible. She was ill for a time, but I gave her everything that we had, everything I could find to keep her as well as possible. Trust me. I know she's only a child."

"I don't doubt that. Whatever it is that I believe of you, I do know that you would keep Peri safe."

"Whatever it is you believe of me? What's that supposed to mean?" she nearly spat. "And stop beating around the bush. I know that you are quite livid about Peri and me intervening. I tell you we didn't have a choice and I wasn't about to just lie down and accept our death to keep Time in its proper place. That isn't my job. As far as I was concerned," she pressed, her hands falling to her sides, balling into fists. "I had to keep Peri and myself alive until you found us and if you never found us, then I had to try to make sure we lived full, happy, free lives. I didn't want Peri or I made to be a camp follower or end up working like slaves in fields. If we were going to do that, we were going to work in the fields to feed us. When we joined up with the Force, I did what I had to do. I saw a great deal of fighting, Doctor. I was there as often as the men were. If I goaded them into doing it, by God, I was going to be there too."

His eyes had widened as she had continued. "Your interfering isn't what I'm upset about, Tegan," he interrupted, his voice somewhat softer, but his spine still bone straight.

His denial confused her. "What? Then" she rubbed her wrist, holding it up so he could see the red marks on it. "Then what is this all about?"

His hand flopped at his side, a sign of his agitated anger. When he paced to her, she kept her eyes trained on him, defiantly grinding her teeth, lifting her chin. She goaded him once more before he joined her. "You are a military General, Doctor. Why on Earth would fighting bother you?"

"It bothers me more than you could ever know," he responded. "It bothers me as much as it does you. You and I have done the same things in the last year, haven't we? Whatever we are, you and I are very much alike in handling that which bothers us. You might yell at it for awhile, but after a time, you plow head first into a plan and put the pain aside. I've done the same thing."

The change, the softening of his tone, teased a similar reaction out of her. "What are you angry about-"

"You having to be here at all, Tegan."

"I can manage, you know. I've been able to handle the situation, thank you very much."

The Doctor sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yes, wellI don't have any doubts that you could and did. This is a bloody war. I never wanted you or Peri or any of my companions in this situation. But to know that you have beenengaged in warfare" he swallowed and lifted his eyes again. She felt the weight of the pain. "You're strong, Tegan. But even you aren't that strong. You've been injured and more than your arm. I never wanted that for you. And I'm angry" he sighed again, apparently becoming self-conscious again. "That I got you into the mess at all."

"I'm fine. Peri is fine," she responded, immediately, without thought. 

She was surprised to feel his hands gently enclose her shoulders. His cold skin, somehow more fitting with his black uniform than his usual clothing, felt refreshing against her heat. "I know, Tegan. But war changes people. I didn't want it to change you."

"You finally understand how I felt in that warehouse"

He shook his head. "A long dead argument, Tegan. But yes, if you like, I do understand."

"There's something else you're not asking me," she responded, looking up into his eyes dubiously.

The quiet stretched between them like a string of putty rolled between an artist's fingers to infinity. She could see his eyes searching hers for something that she was sure wasn't there. Or maybe it was. The blue irises grew; she could see the ice and gold in them.

"Do you want to stay on Sylvana, Tegan?" 

It was asked in a tight, pained voice. 

"No," she responded, almost whispering. "I wanted to see it through. But I don't belong there. Peri doesn't belong there."

He nodded. 

"I'm gathering we're leaving soon?" she asked, quietly.

"Very."

"I want to say goodbye to Johan," she responded. "But I don't want that spy Vidal to take me there."

"I'll escort you," he responded, quietly with a hidden smile. "And I know he was sent by the High Council, Tegan. He isn't a spy; he couldn't be one, if I feed him the knowledge to pass on and have his loyalty."

She sighed, rolling her shoulders, trying in vain to ease the pain from her muscles. She had steeled herself to meet him and had yet to relieve the tension. "I don't like what you've done here. You've manipulated me again."

He frowned and rubbed her elbows. "Yes."

Tegan gaped, momentarily staid by his word. "Honesty. Interesting."

"We'll have the time to argue about it once this is over, Tegan," he responded. His hand lifted her now red and sore wrist so he could see it. "I apologize, Tegan. I've forgotten my strength." He pressed a kiss to the injured skin. 

"You charmer," she warned. Then with a resigned sigh, she shook her head. "Let me talk to Johan. I'll deal with you later." As he turned and escorted her to the door, she stopped him. "And you had better talk to your guard, Trock. He's rather made up his mind that I'm to bear you healthy pups"

"Be grateful he thinks that," the Doctor replied, opening the door. Immediately two Ogrons appeared at their sides. "He's been known to hold Vidal off the ground when the man was trying to give me information. If he thinks you are my mate, he'll allow you in my quarters or room that I'm in with little or no fuss."

The two guards fell into step behind them. Tegan gave a cursory glance over her shoulder. "Would you want me in your quarters?"

"Yes, well" he cleared his throat. He nodded, waving his hand as if to force the words from his mouth. 

She lifted an eyebrow and gave him a tight smile. "Another topic for another time. You've got"

"quite a lot on my mind, yes," he completed her sentence. He was surprised when she turned; she could see the surprise in the blue of his eyes. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and watched as he surreptitiously licked them after she drew away. 

"Hmmm," she hummed. "Yes, wellas I saidanother topic for another time."

"Now, who's manipulating?" he whispered, raising an eyebrow.

They fell into step with each other, walking down the hallway.


	6. Chapter 6: You're who again?

Again, I would like to put some author's notes: 

This story line is based on Warmonger by Terrence Dicks. I've used some of the plot points from the book here; I'm only adapting it to include Tegan. All kudos for plotting go to him. I'm only playing with the BBC's Doc, Tegan and the crew for fun.

**

The corridors of the ship were filled to the brink with soldiers running. The sounds of metallic and clothed footfalls swirled around Peri and Tegan as they marched through the halls; they nearly drowned out the sound of their own beating hearts. 

"What is going on?" Peri asked as they dodged yet another filing of Draconians as they ran past them. Tegan landed against one wall as Peri hit the other. They were dressed in plain black uniforms with their guns strapped to their hips. It had taken them a long time to get their guns back from the ammunition store. 

"I don't entirely know, but I think the Doc has the entire fleet on high alert. I'm not quite sure the Supremo will want the company," she said, sarcastically, leaning back to glance at her friend around the larger bulk of the Draconians. When they were alone in the corridor, Tegan reached out to grab Peri about the wrist. "Come on."

"But" Peri winced and fell into step behind Tegan. "The Doctor hasn't been much on our company"

"He hasn't been much of anything since we left Sylvana. He's got a lot on his mind," Tegan replied. As they rounded another corner and stepped into the lift, she continued. "But I think I know a way of getting us into the Doctor. I intend to find out what's going on"

Peri gave her a look and leaned back into the wall of the lift. "You're intent on this, aren't you?"

"It's been quite some time since he talked to us. And we are his friends," Tegan reminded her. "Supremo or not, he has to at least talk to us."

"I have a feeling this is a very bad idea," Peri commented. Tegan gave her a sideways glance and sighed. Peri had begun to almost subconsciously doubt her since they had gotten back with the Doctor. Sometimes, but not all the time, Tegan wondered if it was simply because they were in the company of the Time Lord again. For the last year, she had trusted her implicitly. Yes, they had had their arguments, but Peri had been ill for long enough that she had come to rely on Tegan. Tegan didn't know what bothered her more: that Peri was deferring to the Doctor or that Peri was treating her with less trust. But there was very little she could do about the situation; she couldn't very well control Peri's emotions or her trust. They were friends and that was enough.

**

Tegan smiled tightly as she saw Trock's familiar bulk outside the map room. Peri eyed him warily. 

"Well that's just great, isn't it?" Peri said quietly, bumping Tegan's arm. "Now what? I don't think he'll let us in"

"He's who I was hoping was on duty," Tegan responded, looking over at her friend. "It's Trock. He'll let us in."

Peri gave her a disbelieving look, but fell into step behind Tegan as she strode towards the door. Tegan straightened her shirt, making sure that it was tucked in and proper, and adjusted her gun. As she approached Trock, the Ogron unsettled his gun and faced her. When he recognized her, her lowered his gun. "Lady Tegan, Supremo is busy. Full meeting of generals."

"Yeah, I had thought that," Tegan muttered under her breath. "Trock, I have to see Supremo."

"No company," Trock stated, but he seemed sad to do so. Peri sighed at Tegan's elbow. 

"I have to see him, Trock. If I'm to bear his pups, I have to see him now. I'm fertile now."

She heard Peri's sharp inhale and then hiccup. She didn't look back at her friend, fearing to see either Peri trying to keep a smile hidden or the look of utter horror on her face. She kept her eyes on Trock and waited as the Ogron digested the information. She could see that he was indeed going to let them in to see the Doctor, but she didn't expect him to lean forward and sniff her hair. 

Tegan's eyes widened as the Ogron sniffed at her and then heard his calm answering grunt. "Lady Tegan is in heat. Supremo's pups are important."

"Let me in the room?" Tegan asked quietly, surprised that she actually was fertile to the Ogron. 

Trock leaned over and stilled the gun of the other sentry and nodded toward the door. With a sigh tinged with surprise, Tegan strode forward, keeping Peri at her side. As they entered the room, she released the breath she didn't even know she was holding. As the door closed, she glanced about the cavernous room. It was mostly dark and she soon realized that that was because of the star maps on ever available surface. There were steps down into the room and she could see a rather large circular table in the middle of the floor.

The Doctor, Vidal, T'ruk and the Sonataran general as well as a couple of human high ranking soldiers stood around the table. She approached as quietly as she could. 

"Were you serious?" Peri whispered as they stepped onto the floor. 

"About what?"

"Having the Doctor's pupsand how do you know him so well?"

Tegan stopped and glanced over at Peri. "Trock seems to think that I'm the Doctor's mate. I might as well play that card to win the game. And I know Trock fairly well" 

"Well, it got us in here," Peri agreed with a smile. "Though I wonder what will happen if that Ogron person tells the Doctor that you're fertile. He'll be mortified."

"Not entirely."

Both Tegan and Peri jumped; Tegan reacted instinctively, drawing her gun as she turned. A large hand clamped down on her wrist as she did. Peri was reacting as well, crouching into a fighting position. 

Tegan gasped at Vidal who held her wrist in a vicious grip. "Lady Tegan," he greeted her, coldly, as cold as his skin. 

The Doctor was helping Peri to her feet and barked an order over his shoulder that sent the other soldiers, humanoid and not, back to their positions at the table. He joined Vidal at Tegan's side as Peri holstered her gun. "I don't believe she is here to assassinate me," the Doctor reassured his second in command. 

She winced as Vidal's hand tightened on her wrist. There was the awful, stomach-sinking feeling of the bones in her arm grinding together. Still, she kept her gun in her hand, more out of habit than anything else. The Doctor's eyes were half hidden in shadow, but she could feel his surprise at seeing his two companions there. His breathing was calm and even; she heard his hands sliding into his pockets quickly, harshly. Keeping her face emotionless, she lifted an eyebrow. "Not today, at least," she shot back.

"Let her go, Vidal," the Doctor offered, quietly, tonelessly. Vidal bowed his head and released Tegan's arm. It lowered from her side, the gun falling from her grasp as her muscles cried out in pain. The Doctor caught it before it hit the ground. "Peri, would you be so good as to take this to T'ruk?" he asked, holding out the gun to his side.

Peri scooped it up and gave Tegan a look of pity. 

As she left, the Doctor held out his hand. "Let me see your arm, Tegan. Vidal hasn't quite understood that Gallifreyan physiology is rather overpowering of humans."

"You've learned humility, I see," she responded, her chin rising defiantly. 

He sighed and stepped forward into the light. As his hand lowered to catch hers and his eyes lowered to look at her injury, she observed him. His hair looked freshly cut and slightly wet and his uniform was more ornate than the others he had worn. He looked every inch a general. His eyes made her shiver, though. The warm blue was gone, replaced by ice and gold. 

__

"You're so warm, Tegan."

"You're like ice."

His eyes had been shrouded in shadow, all dark and deep and the color of sapphires in the sun. His lips had pressed against her naked chest, making gooseflesh and her skin rise as if begging for him. Wrapped in warmth with the ice of space against her front. All that grounded her and kept her warm were his eyes.

"Hmm," he frowned and turned her hand over. She winced and curled her fingers into her palm. "Yes, well" his voice dropped two decibels and an octave. "You'll have a bruised bone there, Tegan, but it's nothing lasting. Now" he shifted, bring his eyes back to hers. "How did you get in here and why?"

"It's been two days and I wanted to know what was going on. Old habits die hard, you know."

"Habits of spying or habits of me telling you most everything?" he asked, seriously. Although she could feel the tension in his body as it literally vibrated through the air, he was a study in calm. 

"Both."

His smile was quick and not forced. "I'd thought that was the case," he responded, his eyebrows quirking high over his eyes. "You always did have an insatiable sense of curiosity."

"And how?" Tegan rubbed her arm and adopted a very deadpan expression. "I'm in heat apparently and Trock decided it was in the best interest of your pups to allow me in the room."

The Doctor nearly sputtered at the mention of her fertility, but ended up giving a firm nod. "I shall have to talk to him," he said simply. "I believe this idea of your being my mate has gone far enough."

She shifted her weight and eyed him. "So, are Peri and I allowed to remain?"

"After all the trouble you've gone through to get in here?" he smiled. "Of course I'll allow you to remain. Hard work and initiative should be rewarded." He lifted a finger to point it near her face. "We're planning our final attack, Tegan. I want no interruptions."

"Of all the"

He gave her a look and gently laid his hand at her back. She fell into step along side of him as they neared. Quietly, she held out her uninjured hand for her gun and the Draconian, after receiving a nod from the Doctor, handed it over to her. His gaze was unreadable as she deftly holstered it. "Interesting," was all he said. 

Tegan drew close to the table which she quickly found was a large horizontal star map. A small voice in her head reminded her that it was a computer screen; it surprised her even now that she was able to readily recognize a computer as they weren't really from her time. A small shock of pleasure rippled through her as she saw that T'ruk move aside to allow her to stand near the Doctor. She hid the smile, but realized that the Doctor was equally as accommodating as he leaned to the side to allow her next to him. 

"Gentlemanto continue" her Time Lord friend began. Tegan looked around the Doctor's back to roll her eyes at Peri. "And as I trust we'll be having no more interruptions," he turned and gave Tegan a frown. She righted her eyes back to her friend and made a face. The Doctor ignored her. "As I said previously, Morbius has stopped. His march across the galaxy has ceased, halted. Our plan to simply roll up the carpet behind him as succeeded."

The Sonataran general leaned forward and punched his stubby finger at the map. "Morbius has stopped in the Alpha sector. It's highly populated."

"Very," the Doctor agreed, almost cheerfully. 

T'ruk leaned forward over the table, frowning powerfully. "That placement presents massive problems for an organized fight."

"Ah," the Doctor said, tracing his finger about the major grouping of blue points that Tegan knew stood for Morbius' fleet. "It also presents a major problem for defensive maneuvers as well. And, I assure you, Morbius knows it as well. He won't make a stand where he is. The surrounding planets present too large a possibility of turning against him than standing with him."

"He'll fight elsewhere," the Sonataran voiced.

"Or more than likely."

Peri leaned over the map and nodded. "Fighting there would be like fighting in a slim canyon. You don't want to do thattoo many places to be ambushed."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Very good, Peri. Yes, it is quite like that."

Tegan frowned and leaned closer to the map. Peri did have a point; she was remembering the problems with fighting in the open plains of Greater Yondar and the canyons of Lesser Yondar. Those two months had been horrible for the both of them. She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on what she saw. She knew, as she had learned in the last year that maps weren't just two dimensional, they were three and often they would use the height to their advantage. Here, she had to remember orbits and whatnot. It was enough to give her a headache. With a sigh, she rubbed her temples. Her other hand throbbed at her side. 

But still, she noticed something. Something that was at the center of the map, out in the open. A place that was very familiar to her. If she were to turn and fight somewhere, she would do it there. Open. Wide open. 

"Karn," she whispered. "Where it all began"

The Doctor turned, somewhat surprised, but pleasantly so. "Tegan, you take my breath away. Quite rightKarn. It has the only thing that Morbius needs and wants"

The Draconian shook his head and the Sonataran frowned. One of the humanoid generals reached to move the gold pins to surround Karn. Meanwhile, another soldier, dressed in a cool white and silver uniform began to mutter mathematical gibberish. Vidal was the one that spoke. "Supremo, if I may: Karn is indeed wide open, but it is a small planet, almost K class. To have a large planet bound fight there will require knowledge of close hand to hand combat."

The Cyberleader took a deep breath and rattled off in his metallic voice: "Cybermen are more than capable of fighting in close quarters."

Tegan shivered at the sound of the harsh voice. She had almost convinced herself that Cybermen didn't bother her any more. The Doctor's cool hand pressed against her lower back and steadied her. She used the borrowed strength to lift her chin. Vidal responded, "I'm sure that the Cyber race is more than capable, Cyberleader"

"The Draconians also," T'ruk interjected. "We have several contingency plans and strategies that are very useful in close combat."

"Long distance, close quarters don't matter to a Sonataran," the Sonataran general replied. "It's simply an honor to be in the battle"

"Supremo, sir"

The Doctor nodded to the young soldier in the white uniform. "What matters first is arriving before Morbius. Haken?"

"Yes, sir. If we leave immediately and make the jump into hyperspace, we will arrive at Karn in two standard periods. Morbius is slightly closer, however. If he were to make the jump prior to us"

"I assume only that he will," the Doctor replied, wisely. 

"Then we need to opt for proximity," the young soldier said. 

"I have every confidence in you, Haken," the Doctor said with a nod. 

"Who is he?" Tegan whispered.

The Doctor's hand curled into her back, she supposed it was an effort to keep her quiet. Which, of course, she ignored. "Well?"

"Our navigator," the Doctor answered with a put upon sigh. "Quiet, Tegan."

She made a face. 

"Well," he continued his voice louder. "Gentlemen, I think that concludes our council meeting. Return to your posts and brief your soldiers. We arrive on Karn in two standard periods. Be ready. This is our final battle, and just let me say that it has been an honor to fight alongside you all."

Tegan watched as the other soldiers filed out of the room. Vidal remained and Peri edged about the map to join her two friends. The Doctor gave Tegan and Peri a look. "You two will remain on board the ship."

"We will not," Peri responded. The Doctor was hushed in surprise at her outburst. Tegan added her voice to Peri's. 

"We've come this far fighting, Doc. You'll need us."

He turned, his eyes hooded and hidden. She couldn't see what he was really thinking, so she pushed further. "You'll need every gun"

Vidal grunted an answer, but the Doctor held up his hand. "If I allow you two on the planet's surface, you'll remain near me. Is that understood?"

Peri nodded and Tegan frowned. "In the middle of a battle, you can't protect us."

The Doctor didn't respond and gave her a long stare that she interpreted as anger. She knew she had to answer him with the reply he wanted or it was all for naught. With a sigh, she nodded. "All right. Fine. We'll remain by you"

His nod was her answer. 


	7. Chapter 7

If you haven't guessed, the parts that are in italics are memories.

**

They stepped out into the corridor and she felt a familiar steel band arm slip around her waist. 

"Peri," the Doctor stated, clearly and concisely. Tegan felt the attention he paid the words physically; her muscles tightened. "Please accompany Vidal to the ammunition store. Vidal, procure two laser guns and two fission vests. Tegan, accompany me, please."

Peri did as he requested, throwing a glance over her shoulder that reeked of sympathy for Tegan. Tegan, on her half, returned the glance with one that she hoped spoke of self-confidence. But no sooner did the Doctor lead her around the corner then she turned on him, whipping about to give him a frown. 

"Not now, Tegan," he interjected, walking on, not sparing her a look. 

"Don't you feel we're entitled to know where and what was going on?" she pressed. 

The Doctor waved his hand to the side and she saw Trock step away from a door and salute him. He entered the room without a glance back. Tegan preceded him. The door slid shut behind them with a whoosh that had her hair curling about her shoulders, curling over them like an embrace. No sooner had the external world shut than the Doctor pulled on her arm to turn her. 

"Yes, wellyou are, Tegan. You are," he pressed. "But you and Peri going to the surface of Karn is not acceptable. This is war."

Tegan frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. She hadn't realized how naked she had felt without the gun on her hip the last few days. "Hell's Teethwhat do you think Peri and I have been doing these last few months?"

The Doctor released her and turned, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I know you have been rather involved. Honestly, Tegan: do you really want to go down into the middle of a firefight?"

"Are you going down?" she asked, her mouth twisted in a frown. 

"I do rather have to, Tegan," he barked, slipping his hands into his pockets. "It's not something I can choose not to do. In for a penny, in for a pound as they say."

"Then I don't have much of a choice either," she replied, leaning forward a little bit. "Has a year completely made you forget our adventures?"

"Our adventures never led to the middle of actual, very active wars, Tegan," he nearly shouted, twisting away from her to pace back to the door. "The Silurians don't count."

"No, oh no," she sighed. "No, it just bloody always felt as though you were walking into hell on Earth every time we walk out the TARDIS door."

His eyes widened and he nodded, apparently caught between interest and anger. She watched as he fumbled, his fingers catching in the lining of his trouser pockets. He couldn't get them out fast enough. With a growl, she turned and paced in the opposite direction. "You made the choice, Tegan."

"To stay with you!" She shouted in return, her accent hanging and harried on the vowel. "I might complain about the hell you take us into, Doc, but any sane person would."

"I suppose you do have a point there," he muttered. "The matter stands that I don't want you and Peri on the planet's surface. I want you to see reason."

"I want to help you."

"Do you think it would help me if you were down there, Tegan, hmm?"

"I'm not letting you go down there alone, Doc," she warned. "If I have to talk circles around Trock to let me have a place in your honor guard, I will. Peri and I can look out for ourselves."

"Tegan-"

"I'll not be argued out of this," she shook her head. "I've helped head up a Fighting Force for a year. If I can win against farmers and farm hand boys in arguing, I can guarantee I won't be argued out of this."

He sighed and lowered his head. "Tegan, would you just listen to me?"

"If you're going to go on about Peri and me staying on board-"

"You'll stay with me," he agreed. "Right by me. Tegan, this is a pivotal battle, a pivotal war in Gallifrey's history and its future. I can't worry about you and Peri, your safety, and still keep my mind on the battle."

"If you would just listen to me-"

"It's not like I have a choice not to, Tegan, you're shouting."

"And so are you!" She neared him, her hands in fists, clenched at her side. "Peri and I can fight. It's not something we'd choose to do now, but if you're going down and we can help to win- Blast it, Docyou need just as much looking after as you think we do."

He grunted and rubbed his head with a weary hand. "Do you think I want you harmed after being just reunited with you?"

"Do you think I want you harmed?"

His sigh told her everything she needed to know. She felt her shoulders releasing some of their tension, but she suddenly clenched her hands again as he turned away from her. His words at the voice comm surprised her, making her mind a jumble of disjointed thoughts. "Vidal? Please entertain Miss Peri. I shall be in my quarters for the next few hours. If I'm needed, please summon me."

"As you command, Supreme Coordinator."

Tegan blinked in confusion and shook her head. "Running from the conversation again? Pity. I'd yet wanted to discuss this profound sense of intervention you've developed"

"Oh, quite the opposite, I assure you, Tegan," he replied, his palm flat against the wall. He tapped at it with his fingers for a moment and then turned back around to her. His eyes staid her.

__

No words. None. His neck arched, his hair back, his eyes dark with passion. Liquid love, hot in her loins, heat of attention paid and attention given. Her hands falling from his hair, silky, to his shoulders, solid. There was no need for words. Silence spoke for them, silence punctuated and plundered by sighs, by moans, by whispers of colliding bodies. As her neck arched, as her head pushed deeper into the down of the pillow, she closed her eyes. "Open them, Tegan." His plea was quiet, but felt. She opened them to see his dark, deep, passionate eyes above her. "Your spark, you're my spark, Tegan" he whispered.

She swayed a little, offset by the onslaught of her memories. 

"These are my quarters, Tegan. I'm not abandoning this conversation. And as for intervention, well" he sighed. "It appears that, against my best efforts, I have fallen into a profound conundrum of intervention."

"Your quarters?"

"Again, you appear to have fallen behind in the conversation, Tegan," he replied with a level of sarcasm that she knew was hallmarked his impish, darker humor. "Do keep up."

Tegan felt her face twitch with a smile that was tinged with agitation and affection. "Ah, there you are"

"Every man has his darker side; Supremo is mine," he stated. 

"I don't like him much"

"I was under the impression that you were rather in awe of him."

"No, just that you're able to wear that bloody uniformblack looks good on you."

He leaned closer, his hands falling to his side. "Teganthe intervention"

She shook her head, raising her hand. She stopped it inches from his lips as if she wanted to touch them. "No. Don't. Let's just agree that if you go down, like good companions, Peri and I will go down with you. After all, you always do better with a captive audience don't you?"

"That's not what I'm"

She shook her head and he sighed agitatedly. "Tegan"

In her heart, she knew what she wanted to hear about what his discourse on intervention would be. It had been a year, though, and they words had never passed either of their lips. There was blessed little hope that now he would say what she hoped to hear. She wasn't even sure she could say what it was that she would have said a year previous. She was an older woman, a different woman. She knew what she wanted, and had grown passed just accepting what wasn't. 

Tegan knew now, with a sinking feeling and yet an exhilarating rush, that she wanted to remain with the Doctor, away from the fighting and the wars, but only if he wanted her to be with him. She wanted nights like the one before they separated. She didn't want to accept less, and she was quite sure that the Doctor wasn't comfortable with more. She, now, wasn't sure he was capable of more depth of feeling. But at that moment, she didn't want to let him know, to show him her cards. She wanted to hold them fast and tight to her chest, selfishly hoarding them. After the war, after he was back, calm and so very English in his cricket outfit, when their arguments could be nothing more than the TARDIS missing a mark, then and only then, would she tell him. And he could make that decision

But then, right then, wasn't the time. "Something elsetalk about something else, please?"

He held out his hand after staring at her for a moment. "Help me to remember the better part of me for the evening? Tomorrow I'll have to be quite the general, but I can't be that to you."

"Thank bloody hell for that," she sighed with a hidden smile.

"Tegan, Tegan, Tegan," he mumbled. She laid her hand in his and he lifted her hand to his lips. "Have I ever told you that you drive me insane? You never give me an edge, do you?"

"I wouldn't be me if I did," she agreed. "Should I give you an edge?"

"No, no," he replied, turning her hand over to press his cold lips against her wrist. "On the contrary, Tegan; I've quite missed your input and driving sense this last year."

She curled her fingers slightly. "Doc?"

"Hmm?"

"I feel as though this conversation has changed direction," she muttered. It had, she knew it. The familiar sense of confusion at the diverted conversation invaded her mind. "I have a distinct feeling that you're talking about something"

He nodded, swallowing. "Come with me"

With wide open eyes, swirling with blue and gold, he turned and led her by her hand to a dark corner of his room. On a small table, in something that to her looked like a snow globe was a translucent, pulsing cube. He pulled off the top and put his hand on the cube. Through his other hand, she could feel the vibration. "What is it?" she whispered.

"Close your eyes," he offered. She did, squeezing them shut. The vibration grew and the hum surrounded them. 

"Doctor?" she whispered, concerned.

"Just another moment, Tegan," he pressed. She felt a warm squeeze at her hand, reassuring her. After a few moments, the sound died down. Tegan felt a sense of the world coming right, something changing so dear and so near that it affected her instantaneously. She gripped his hand in near ecstasy. 

She blinked her eyes open and saw the tall, familiar police box blue in front of her. "The TARDIS," she breathed. 

His smile was like a warm friend. "Ah, yes, the TARDIS. She's been sitting in stasis for the year, here, by my reading chair." Tegan marveled at how his smile looked so familiar and yet so alien amidst his black uniform and regulation length hair cut. He released her hand and opened the door with his ever-present key. As they stepped into the console room, she realized: "It hasn't changed at all."

"Why should it?" he pressed, walking to the console. With a loving pat, he rubbed at its metallic surface. "She's still the same TARDIS, just rested, that's all."

Tegan sighed. She felt the familiar atmosphere around her, the white on white sterile beauty that was her home. "Why?"

"Bring you here?" the Doctor whispered. When she nodded, he lowered his eyes to the console. "I've been in here twice in the last year, Tegan. Once when I found out about you and Peri and the second time when I simply needed reminding of who I was and what I was doing."

She frowned and watched as both of his hands petted the console like he had petted her previously, lovingly. He continued: "I've brought you here because there is quite a large part of me that would wish to simply leave the pomp and circumstance, the uniform, the whole mess and run in the TARDIS."

Tegan squinted and opened her mouth, but he stilled her, walking around the console to put his hands on her shoulders. "You arriving here, Tegan, reminds me of other times, of other arguments, of other talks that we've had about death and murder and intervention. And quite frankly, I've suffered rather badly this past year because a person that I've relied on for helping my conscience along was missing."

"So you brought me in here to what? Show me the flip side of the penny so to speak?" she asked. "Doctor?"

"Should we leave?" he asked his eyes intense. "Tell me. Is it better for me to lose myself and see this done, or be true to what I firmly believe and have spent my life doing-"

"Doctor" she said. "Hell's Teeth, you don't leave me the easy questions do you? And an argument in ethics isn't something I'm good at."

"What would you tell me to do, then?" he pressed, an edge of agitation just below the surface of his voice, like broken glass in the sand of a beach.

She returned his stare, equal. "I'd tell you to stay. These men, these aliensthey all worship you and would follow you anywhere. I've seen that these last few days. I hate war, but I've had to do it. If you left, this would all fall apart. And you know it needs to be done"

"Yes, yes," he muttered. "But I want your complete support in this, if I'm to do it."

"If?"

"Taking you down there, having you by me, Tegan," he pressed, his fingers digging into her shoulders. "Leading this fight."

"It's too late to back out."

"You're missing the point."

"You're rather making a mess of the point, Doc," she argued. "It has to be done. It's right to do this. I'll be there with you to help you win this, finish this."

"You'll not run from me at the end of this?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"What?" she sputtered. "Docif I were to leave you again, it wouldn't be over thisthis thing we're involved in. And I'm coming with you, Doc, come hell or high water. I'm not staying in the TARDIS or on this ship. There's no argument to make."

He nodded, appeased by her answer. She winced at the pain she saw refracted out of his eyes. Frowning, she lifted her hand to brush at his cheek, warmly giving a gentle smile as he shut his eyes at her touch. "I won't run from you. Brave heart, Doc."

His lips curled in a small smile and his hand covered hers. 

**

__

Awaking alone, wrapped in cool white sheets. The room quiet except for the gentle jazz that played everywhere and nowhere. Peace evident in the pain in her legs, in her back. Cotton flowing over her skin like water, like a running river. Awake, feeling alone, feeling achingly alone. Turning over, looking at the side of the bed to the Doctor. Dressed half in his trousers, sans shirt, cool and distant, concerned and sweetly lost, he stared back at her. Holding the sheet to her chest. "Doc?"

"Are you all right?" he asked, moving his fingers, held in praying peace away from his lips.

"As right as I can be."

He nodded, rubbing at his thighs. "I don't understand this, Tegan."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes. It was quite enjoyable, more so in a bed than on a stone."

"Then don't philosophize about it," she offered, holding out her hand to him. "Come back to bed."

They left the TARDIS and walked to the bridge, hand in hand. She remembered that night fondly. 


	8. Chapter 8: Cat's out of the bag or didn...

Peri met them at the door of the bridge. She looked so worried that the Doctor immediately dropped Tegan's hand and gently laid his hands on Peri's shoulders. "It's all right, Peri. You're being treated well, I trust?"

Tegan moved around to her young friend and winced as she heard the answer. "I'm quite fine, but I'm not used to being swept to the side like yesterday's dirty laundry." She leveled a stare at the Doctor that had him recoiling slightly. "If you two are discussing something that concerns me, I damn well want to be apart of that conversation. I don't appreciate being treated like a child."

"I certainly don't think you're a child," the Doctor replied, seemingly confused by the conversation. "Ah, Vidal" he began, squeezing Peri's shoulders and then moving off toward the navigation station. 

Tegan reached for Peri's arms from behind and sighed as she felt the girl tense. "We were discussing something personal, Peri. We're still accompanying him to Karn. Believe me, I'm all for you being present when we discuss things that concern you."

Peri gave her a small smile. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall for your conversations with him, Tegan. You two always seem to dance around topics. It takes real talent to do what you two do. Are you sure"

Tegan stared at the Doctor as he talked with Vidal. "I'm quite sure we'll include you, Peri. How is Vidal, anyway? I don't trust him."

With a nod, Peri agreed. "And he is rather confused about you. Or rather, how you and the Doctor interact."

"He's not the only one," Tegan muttered. "We'd better join them."

**

She heard Latin and maths being uttered back and forth between Vidal, the Doctor and the young man who she quickly learned was the navigator. The conversation was entirely too hard to follow and Tegan felt a headache coming on and reached to rub her forehand. She had heard words like this before when the verbal translation circuit on the TARDIS was on the blink and the Doctor hadn't been speaking English. He had been speaking Gallifreyan and to her it had sounded so like maths that she felt yawns forming at the back of her throat.

When he finished speaking, he immediately reverted back into English or at least what she heard was English. "Dankin? Are the coordinates clear?"

The navigator gave a silent whistle and nodded. "As you command, Supremo, but if any other person had given me this flight plan, I would have said it was impossible to do."

"Improbable, not impossible," the Doctor corrected. With a gentle smile, he continued. "I have complete trust in your abilities. Vidal? Please radio the rest of the fleet and transmit the flight plan on sub channel Alpha, please."

"Consider it done, Supreme Coordinator," Vidal replied and Tegan was actually surprised not to see him click his heels together.

The Doctor sighed and rocked forward on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets. Tegan joined him, momentarily distracted by the stellar vision outside. The fleet had been awaiting orders in a small, quiet part of the galaxy with low stellar mass, but with a nearby nebula, the sky was virtually a starlit watercolor painting. "Talking in Gallifreyan again?"

"Hmm?" he asked, seemingly distracted. 

Peri agreed: "Those equations you were muttering. Is that your native language?"

The Doctor gave Tegan a look with raised eyebrows as he answered: "Heavens no, Peri. That was calculus. Tegan, you should know that."

"Pardon me if I'm not thinking about my schooling right now," Tegan bit back, but then she realized what the Doctor was really saying.

__

So beautiful. How could math, how could logic, sound so lovely? He forced the language circuit and muttered to her in Gallifreyan. His arms about her, dancing slowly to the soft music.

She lowered her eyes as he pushed past her to approach the commander's chair on the deck. She noticed there was a small bench behind him. He stood next to it and called both his companions to join him. Peri was the first to join him.

"What are we doing and where are we going?"

"Karn," the Doctor responded, sinking to sit in his chair. "As was discussed before, Peri. You've received your firearms and personal protection articles, I trust?"

Peri beamed and held up the fission vest she had been carrying. "And a matching one for the Scourge."

"Ah, yes," the Doctor smiled and gave Tegan a look. She returned it with a frown and a roll of her eyes. She had a very nasty feeling that her Time Lord friend wasn't going to let her live it down her nickname. "I'd advise the two of you to get into them. Once we jump to hyperspace, the trip will be very short."

Peri put hers on and Tegan took hers in hand. She stilled as she watched the Doctor sit in his chair. "Where's yours?" she demanded.

The Doctor gave her a glance. "Tegan, I would sit if I were you. Entry and exit of hyperspace is rather rough." He turned to address the navigator, but she cleared her throat and remained standing near his chair. He pointedly ignored her and called to the navigator and pilot to make the jump into hyperspace. As she felt as though her feet were touching the ground, but on the other hand, she felt as though she were floating. The world seemed to go black and than brilliantly white. 

When everything ceased to change and appeared normal again, she found herself standing between the Doctor's legs with his hands holding her hips. "Really, Tegan," he responded, with that slight sigh that she knew so well. "Is doing what I ask once, even in the interest of your own safety, that hard for you?"

She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Are you going to wear a vest?"

He met her eyes. And then quietly, for her own ears, she heard: "I never wear a vest, Tegan. I don't carry a gun and I don't wear a vest."

"That's-"

"That's my logic, Tegan. I don't expect to have to use a gun and I don't want to wear a vest. It's like advertisement for the enemy," he replied, his hands squeezing her hips. "And no, you can't use that argument with me. For you and Peri, it's protection. Now, please, put it on," he pressed. "And sit down. The exit of hyperspace is worse on those without their space legs."

"You're impossible," she muttered. But at his frown, she retreated to the bench and Peri.

As she sat and put on the vest, she hazarded a glance at Vidal. The Time Lord was staring at her like she was a microscopic experiment. She shook her head and fastened her vest. Peri handed her personal gun to her and gave her a smile. Tegan tucked the small gun into the space in her vest and made sure it was reachable. The other gun was on her waist and a knife was in her boot. Peri had her guns and the small crossbow attached to her back. She reached over and held Peri's hand as they awaited the exit.

**

As the ships slowed suddenly and several planets and other ships appeared in front of the view screen, the Doctorrocketed out of his seat to punch his hand down on the comm console. 

"Attack, attack, attack. Alpha team frontal attack; Beta team intercept. Protect the planet. Gamma team prepare planet fall."

Tegan was on her feet when she heard Peri ask behind her: "Which one are we?"

Vidal interrupted her shrugged answer. "We are team Beta."

The Doctor was turning, addressing two smaller hologram versions. One was the Draconians, the other a Cyberman. "Alpha leader: strategy as you see fit. Beta will take up position between the attackers and the planet. Gamma leader: Work with the Sonataran. Clear an area about the capital, the castle. Clear room for landing of Beta and Alpha in either event of retreat or victory."

Tegan stumbled the rest of the way forward, feeling Peri grab the back of the Doctor's chair. She reached to steady herself as well. The sky, the view, was nothing but ships. They were firing on them, firing on the planet, or firing on the rest of the fleet. The sheer size of the two clashing fleets was almost too much to comprehend. 

"Dear God" she breathed.

Peri's arm slipped about her waist and the girl leaned into her. "Oh my God."

The Doctor, if he heard them, ignored them. "Beta Team: Flight plans projected" he held on as a stream of energy swept by the bridge. "Follow designated plans."

Vidal joined the Doctor at the helm, operating another console. "Gamma team through the main parameter."

Peri leaned closer to Tegan. "Tegswhat is going on?"

"We're in the middle of a space fight," Tegan explained the obvious. "A rather large one. And if I understand what is going onwe're the interceptors. We're the ones that are going to get between the other fleet and the planet."

Peri gaped at the viewscreen. Tegan slipped her arm about her waist and nodded to the chair. "Strap yourself in."

"What are you going to do?" Peri asked, not moving.

Tegan shrugged, gripping the side of the chair. Her eyes were trained on the Doctor. "I'm going to stay right here." 

**

One hour later, amidst yells and shouts, the bridge took a direct hit from oncoming ships. Tegan and Peri ended up lying on the floor near the front console. For a moment, she couldn't tell where she was or what she had done, except that there was something dripping in her eyes and too much noise. She was over top of Peri, covering the girl's head. Near her was Vidal. Or someone that she supposed was Vidal; he wore Vidal's uniform. 

Peri nudged her and crawled over to the fallen Time Lord. 

"Pulse?" Tegan asked, upset.

With a shake of her head, Peri gave her answer. Tegan glanced over, ensuring that the Time Lord's head was not overly injured. "Stand back, Peri. He'll regenerate." With some pain, she levered to her feet. "Where's the Doctor?"

Her friend was nearby, slumped over the console. With her heart in her throat, she tripped and stumbled to his side. But by the time she arrived next to him, he was conscious and blinking back orange blood dripping in his eyes. He blindly gripped for the controls. She reached for his shirt, ripping it and making a small handkerchief to blot the blood. 

"Not now," he warned. 

"I want to know how bad it is" she grit out. It surprised her when a couple of red drops mixed with his lighter orange blood. It was then that she realized that she was bleeding. 

"Vidal?" the Doctor grunted. 

"Dead, but his head is all right," Tegan argued. Behind her, she heard muttering from Peri. "He's regenerating, Peri. It's normal for Time Lords. Just help him when he becomeshim," she cried out.

The Doctor muttered and pounded on several buttons. When there was no response, he frowned and glanced to the pilot. The young man was still conscious and in control, albeit barely. "Keep us on coursestatus?"

"Life support at 10 %, weapons at 30%," the navigator responded with a yell. "Hull breached in five sections."

"Too many. Give orders to abandon ship."

Tegan thought she had never heard a smarter response. 

"We've done our job," the Doctor continued. "Most of the approaching fleet is decimated. We can join in the battle planet side."

Tegan bit her lip. She understood, as a fighter, that the battle wasn't over, it was simply transferred, but still she felt her heart drop. "Head injurywhat else?"

The Doctor frowned and glanced up at her. "Some slight puncture injury of my leg. Nothing to trouble over, Tegan." He glanced over at Vidal. "It's his first regeneration. He'll need help and support. And we'll have to get to the escape pods."

"Oh, wonderful," Tegan breathed. Then she glanced down at his leg. "Slight injury? Hell's teeth, Doc!"

He glanced down with her at his right leg. It was speared to the console with a sharp metal piece completely through the meat of his leg. "Yes, wellit isn't mortal in the very least."

"Sir? Life support systems beginning to fail," Dankin replied, limping over to the Doctor. "Critical atmosphere in thirty of your minutes. The ship is in decaying orbit, but the atmosphere is our main problem."

"Quite," the Doctor responded. He glanced up at Tegan again, his eyes somewhat glazed. As he began to speak, he winced. "Tegan. Take Vidal and Peri to the nearest escape pod. There are two annexing the bridge. The instructions are very easy to understand," he began, reaching out to press a few buttons, silencing alarms ringing about them. "Eject and the pod should home into the main Gamma ship. It will guide you there"

"Oh no," she began.

"I'm counting on you to take care of Vidal, Tegan," he said, gruff. "And Peri. She's unharmed?"

"Mostly. Several bruises," Tegan responded automatically, but then shook her head forcefully. "I'm not leaving you."

"Tegan-"

"No, you listen, Doctor," she grit out as she knelt to examine his predicament. "That wound will be fatal if you go about this wrong. I might not know a lot about medicine, but I do know a good deal about battlefield First Aid now. And I know that you're in need of it."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Interesting. I always thought the sight of my blood made you queasy."

"It does," she admitted. She glanced up as Peri came to her. Peri's face contorted in disgust at the sight of the Doctor's leg. 

"No blood?" she asked quietly to Tegan.

"The metal is keeping it in," Tegan responded. "How's Vidal?"

"Awake and barely knowing where he is," the girl responded. "But all his injuries have disappeared. It'sincredible."

"Post regeneration trauma," the Doctor sighed. He met Tegan's gaze with his own. She could see that he was pleading her to do as he asked, but she only saw it as a self-sacrificing act on his part. She glanced back up at Peri and saw the determination in her friend's face that she had come to rely on in the girl. With a sudden smile, she knew Peri was more than capable of taking Vidal to the surface of Karn. 

"Peri? Plan time," she said, rising. "Could you take Vidal to the surface in the pod?"

Peri glanced down at the Doctor and then back up to Tegan. "Of course. You're going to stay and help him, aren't you?"

"Can you see any other way of doing this?" Tegan said, pointedly. 

"Not really," Peri responded. "I'm not good with injuries."

"Neither am I," Tegan confided with a slight shiver. "Take him down. I'll follow down with the Doctor when we get him out of this mess." She reached into her vest and pulled out her gun. "Take this. You'll need both hands; Vidal isn't going to be worth his weight for quite some time."

Peri swallowed and reached out to take the gun. "And"

Tegan nodded. "The alternative if you have to," she said quietly. "What we decided on, I suppose."

Peri's eyes misted. Tegan clasped hands with her and released the gun. Then, affectionately and suddenly, she reached out and drew the girl into a fierce hug which was returned just as fiercely. "You'll do it," Tegan confided. "And as good as I can. But you've got to go"

With a nod, and a sad smile, Peri agreed. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to the Doctor's cheek and told him she would see him soon. Then she turned and started over to Vidal. "Dankin, help her with him."

He looked down at the Doctor and then back up at Tegan. "I'll do that and bring back the medical kit if I can find it. You'll need the help."

"I'm not going to say no," Tegan admitted. Then she turned and knelt again to assess the wound. After a moment, she stood and continued to deal with his head injury. As Dankin and Peri left the bridge, she began to quietly berate the Doctor. "Never easy with you, is it? Couldn't have a wound where we could just dress you up like a mummy and wheel you out of here. It had to be something like this. And I'm always patching you. Hell's teeth, Doc, any other girl, if she had a brain, would have given up on this a long time ago. Aliens, monsters, wrong times and places, injuries, guns"

"Yes, well, I wouldn't be a worth while puzzle if you didn't have to put back in the missing pieces occasionally," he muttered. "Do be careful with the blotting, Tegan."

"It looks clean," she admitted. "There's no alcohol here or water, so we're just going to have to patch it up and hope its all good." She reached around him and grasped his shirt hem. Then, with a strong tug, she ripped it and wound a short bit about his head, under his blond bangs. When that was done, fast, she knelt again. "And you're better with pain"

"Oh yes," he muttered sarcastically. "Tegan. It's severed some of the nerves. I'm not feeling anything there right now." He shifted a little and let out a low groan. "Some of the nerves are still working"

"Ideas on how to do this?" she asked. "Brace your leg somehow. I'm going to cut the trousers and see what we have. Besides, it's got to be out of the way."

"I agree," he muttered. She glanced up and saw that his eyes were vague. "No, but when you tell me what it looks like, I'm sure we'll put our heads together and come up with something."

She pulled out her knife and carefully slit his trouser leg around the protruding metal piece. It was a jagged splinter of metal that only extended from his leg about four inches, but that had imbedded in the console on the other side. When she had the trousers cut away, Dankin was stumbling back into the bridge. "Are they away?" Tegan asked, for something to do other than concentrating on the injury.

"Yes," Dankin sank to the floor next to her as she ripped away the material. The sight made her hands shake. There was little blood, but she could see his flesh pierced and mauled. It made her sickened. There was little she could do but glance over at Dankin. The young officer met her gaze with a worried one of his own.

"Now," the Doctor said quietly, drawing her gaze back to him like a magnet. There was his spark of intelligence and a healthy dose of sorrow peaking out of the familiar blue. "Do you understand why I told you to go?"

"I'm not giving up. And neither are you," she muttered, her voice shaking. Anger at him, anger at the war, and anger at inability flooded her and she felt tears of frustration flooding her eyes. "What can we do?"

He was silent and she reached up to grab his arm. "Doctor!"

There was a spark of agitation that came to the surface in his eyes and she saw the nearly thousand year old being's soul break through his young man's persona. She could tell he was angry at the situation and that she was prodding him, poking at him, worrying at him like a scab. But regardless of what he felt about himself or this war or anything that had been going on the last year and a half, she wasn't going to let him stay there. "Tell. Me. What. Can. We. Do. If you stay; I'm staying and if you don't want me to stay on a dying ship, then you'd better think quickly."

He swallowed and glanced down at his leg. "Emotional blackmail, I believe the Brigadier once called this."

"Damn straight," she replied. 

"Very well." Tegan wasn't sure what the sound was in his voice, but she barely recognized it as his. There was a spark of eternity in his voice, like the cold emptiness of space. But not the cold that froze, the cold that burned. She stared at his eyes and swore she saw someone different, someone older, someone younger, someone other than the Time Lord she loved, staring back at her. She was glimpsing something that she hadn't before, or maybe she had, on that spiritual bridge all those months ago. He was there, she could tell, but it was as if several personalities were flooding him at once. With a shiver, she closed her eyes. When she opened them, it was gone.

He nodded. And she understood, suddenly, that she had seen exactly what he had wanted her to see. "How far does it protrude?"

"About a hand's span," she replied. Dankin was examining it. "And with nothing to grab onto."

"We're going to have to pull me off of then, aren't we?" the Doctor asked his old voice back.

Dankin nodded and ran off towards the tool chest. Tegan opened the medkit and began to indiscriminately throw objects on the ground. He glanced down at her and sighed. "Do be careful with it, Tegan. You'll want something to wrap about the leg and some synthaskin."

"It'll have to bleed freely to make sure you don't have anything in it," she warned, not looking up. 

"We can do that in the pod," he replied. Dankin returned and sank to the floor with a tool that Tegan eyed warily. 

Dankin explained as he lit a small torch. "I'm going to cut this clean and close to his skin. Less to pull through."

She winced in reply. "Just wonderful," she warned. "Just hurry." 

Minutes ticked by as Dankin rounded and made the metal cut as close to his skin as possible. Then, as she began to shiver, he was done. "Right. That should do it," Dankin smiled up at the Doctor. "Supremo? I think you're going to have to excuse some personal contact."

Tegan grinned even in the tense situation. She watched as the Doctor and Dankin braced the Time Lord hard against his seat and Dankin leaned over to put his hands on either side of the wound on the Doctor's leg. She blinked, sighed and tried to steady her nerves. "Right. On the count of three," she warned the two men. "Pull him off of it, quickly. I'm ready with the synthaskin and the wrapping."

The count went quickly. Too quickly for her sanity and then suddenly she heard the Doctor's voice tight, gasping for air as the metal was pulled through his leg. Tegan quickly swung the chair around and sprayed the synthaskin and braced his leg for the painful onslaught she knew was coming next. "I'm going to be an expert with this," she muttered. "Not that I can ever put this on a resume. I hate blood."

"Sorry to be so much trouble," the Doctor's breathless, sarcastic reply came. 

Tegan glanced at Dankin. "Would you get the pod ready? I'm going to wrap him and then wheel him on the chair toward it."

Without waiting for an order from Supremo, the lad fled back towards the pod. They both knew time was running out. Tegan wrapped the leg talking all the while. "Honestly, you're like a boy constantly climbing trees and needing scrapes attended to. And your scrapes aren't small business are they? No, they're like bloody awful death inspiring burns and spears and bumps, aren't they?"

She finished and grabbed the back of the chair to wheel him towards the pod. His eyes were glassy from pain, but she saw he was gritting his teeth. "Tegan, you make it sound like I do this on purpose."

"Don't you?" she breathed. The pod was ahead and she aimed the rolling chair toward it. 

She didn't realize she was crying until the Doctor reached up to stop her just yards from the pod. "Tegan. Take a deep breath."

"What do you think I'm doing?" she grit out. "I'm going to get us out of here with Dankin and then I'm going to remind you never to do this again until the day I leave or die, whatever comes first."

"I'm fine. You can bleed the wound in the pod, Tegan," he reassured. Her hands shook on the back of the chair. "If that will make you feel better."

"No, it wouldn't," she argued, slowing the chair next to the entrance to the pod and leaning against the bulkhead. Dankin called out that he'd help in a moment. "What would make me feel better is to never see this happen again to you. What would make me feel better is not to love you so much and then bloody watch you go through this. That's what would help me."

She stopped realizing that words had left her mouth that she hadn't meant to say. His cold hand covered hers on the chair side and she realized that not only had she said them, but he had heard them. Avoiding his gaze, she continued to fuss at his bandage. There were no further words said and it wasn't until she and Dankin levered him in the pod that she saw emotions in his gaze she hadn't seen previously: pain, caring, fear mixed with a healthy amount of something she couldn't identify.

You've done it now, Tegan, she assured herself. 

The pod left the docking area with 2 minutes left on the life support countdown. 

**


	9. Chapter 9

The battle raged on for two days. For those two days, Tegan saw little of the Doctor. She saw him from a distance mostly. He had helped her rip the synthaskin from him, let the wound bleed and then let her reapply the living bandage. She could tell, even from a distance, that his leg still pained him, but the morning after they had crashed he was up and limping around. 

Against his urging, some of which had been incredibly personal, she had joined the Draconians as a battle helper and then only by the Doctor's suggestion when he saw he wasn't going to win against her. The Draconians used her to her fullest abilities and yet kept her somewhat separated from the heaviest fighting. Peri had become Vidal's right hand, helping the second in command regain his measure. At least, Tegan thought, she was safe.

She had been very proud of Peri. By the time they had stumbled out of the pod after a rough landing, Peri had been there, toting both guns. The girl had been clearly rattled and had seen some action. The dirt and scrapes on her face had told the story. Over the Doctor's protests about Peri being in trouble, she had given cover to the three fugitives as they had run the fifty yards to safety. Tegan still worried, but Peri, although still a little squeamish about guns, was quite capable of taking care of herself. 

And she was sure that the Doctor was safe and alive. At least she was sure until the night before when she had seen him last.

"Mistress Tegan," a Draconian missive drew her attention. She looked up at his eyes and gave a nod. She was manning the sentry post and helping return fire. Somehow, against her better efforts, she had ended up near the front line. 

"Now's really not a great time," Tegan pressed. She pulled the missive down and was relieved to see him pull out his gun to help return fire. "As I think you can see."

"I bring a message from Supremo. The front line has been breached, the castle is under siege. He requests your presence." The words were shouted over missile and laser fire. 

"The front line? Have you told the Draconian general? Are we in retreat?"

The missive nodded. "All are in retreat, but the Supremo requests your presence."

Tegan heard the call for retreat from the general up and behind her. She began to edge back with the rest of the line, following the retreat plan. The missive followed along beside her. "Mistress"

"Tell Supremo, I'll be there when the line retreats"

"He commented that you would make a remark like that, Mistress. And in reply, he told me to say: "Tegan. Now. I have my reasons.""

She turned and looked at the missive. He met her eyes earnestly. Just looking at the young being's eyes, she could almost hear the Doctor's voice and see the look the Time Lord had given him while passing on the information. The missive nodded. "Supremo was extremely adamant about you joining him immediately, Mistress Tegan. I will take your place in the line. Take your hand laser with you. You should be safe, but now" He ducked as another volley of shots flew over their heads.

With a nod, she turned, making sure the young Draconian was in place before she ran back through the lines and toward the center of the sieged castle. 

**

The Doctor was standing, a black swathed silhouette against the dying sun, at the top of the main castle turret. She could see a slight adjust of his weight off of his injured leg. At his side, she saw Vidal, a different, younger man and Peri, a slim, militaristically dressed brunette. As she joined them at the top of the steps, she saw that they were surrounded by men with guns, Sonatarans, Cybermen. 

"There you are. I gather you gave R'an an argument," the Doctor said, quietly, his hands in his pockets. 

"The lines are in full retreat," she said equally quietly. "I'm sorry if you were put out that I wanted to stay with my squadron."

He turned and gave her a very direct stare. "I wanted you here, Tegan. There's something we need to discuss."

"If it's slipped your notice, Doc, the world's falling apart. And we're damn close to losing this battle. I don't think now is not the greatest time to have a conversation."

"That is precisely why we need to have a conversation. I've had it with Peri and now I need to have it with you. And I need a promise from you." He said, his eyes following the dying battle below. Then he turned to meet her eyes for the first time. She saw intensity, urging, extreme exhaustion and a need for her to understand in his eyes. 

She shifted her weight. "What is it?"

"The General, Morbius, if all estimates are correct, will breach the final line in less than a standard hour. I'm calling back most of the forces into the castle in an effort to save some lives for some time. We're making our plans for a final defense action. Morbius has sent a communiqué offering to care for you and for Peri in the circumstance of my death and demise during the end of the battle or safety after my surrender."

Tegan neared the Doctor and kept her gaze firmly on his. A slight breeze ruffled his hair and that was the only move he made. 

"You can't trust him," Tegan replied quietly in the deceiving silence around them. "He won't give us safety. You can't trust him."

"No," he replied and glanced down. "No, Tegan. He won't." His sigh moved his shoulders. 

She swallowed and nodded to Peri, anticipating what he was going to discuss next. "Peri's told you about our decision about situations like this."

"Your pact, yes," the Doctor responded, raising his eyes to hers. "Do you still believe, think that?"

"That death is better than capture and torture, yes," she agreed with a nod. She saw his eyes darken and, immediately, she continued, sensing a tetchy response. "We've lived with that decision for almost a year, Doctor. We'd help each other do what we needed to do."

He nodded slowly. "I know you're earnest, Tegan. I don't doubt it. I just wanted to understand your thoughts and to let you knowI doagree."

The understanding of the weight of his words hit her and she felt her legs weaken. He was agreeing to hers and Peri's death. It was only his eyes, the call of his gaze that kept her on her feet. She nodded. "And your promise?"

"Help me do the same."

Her legs really did loosen and he reached out to steady her, his hands on her hips. "You'll just regenerate" she whispered, stating the obvious. 

"And I'd forever be tortured by Morbius if he lets me live. If I don't take care of matters, he will. I would rather have the choice of it" he muttered. "But you see, Tegan. It isn't just me"

She felt tears of frustration, horror and sadness pricking at the back of her eyelids. "It's eight more of you" she breathed. "You'll end them."

He nodded, serious. So serious in fact that she felt chilled even in the heat of fire about them. They didn't say anything. He was talking of suicide and murder in the face of torture and death. Six of one, half dozen of another, she thought wryly. "There must be something else we can do," she whispered. "You always say where there's life there's hope."

"And there is, Tegan, there is," he responded sternly. "This is only in a case of no other out. I only wanted your support in the matter."

"You have it," she replied. "Not happily, but you have it."

"I trust your strength in it, Tegan," he replied. "I won't see you left to him and I want you to make sure I'm not left to him either." At her nod, he turned with her towards the wall and to show her the battle. "Do you still have your gun, Tegan? Both of them?"

"Of course and a knife. Peri has the same."

"Good. Peri will need it. Vidal is still weak and I want her with him in the center. But I need to join the troops at the perimeter. I can't order them to fight and remain here shouting out orders." He looked down at her. "I would like one of your guns, if you wouldn't mind, Tegan. I think I shall need it."

"Shooting isn't your thing," she replied, handing over the gun. "If you ask me, your thing is more towards chess than Cowboys and Indians, you know. If you take that gun, you take me with you. The least I can do is watch your back."

"Miss Tegan," he sighed as he took her offered gun. "The last thing I think you are is a sharpshooter."

"You point the business end at those you don't want near you and squeeze the trigger," she responded cheekily. "You have a better chance of hitting someone when there is more people there"

"Ah, probability," he nodded. "I won't be able to talk you out of it, I suppose."

"No."

He gave her a ghost of a smile. And she felt, as little as it seemed possible, that the world was looking up. She reached down and caught his hand, squeezing it. "I always said I would end up following you through fire. I never thought you would make it a complete, literal reality, but"

"Yes, wellI do try," he responded. 

**

An hour later, she was following the Doctor at close proximity, Trock right behind her. She had yelled at the Time Lord to have his gun unholstered in the very least, safety off at best. He had muttered something about primitive responses and had continued along. 

As she felt her apprehension and adrenaline increase, she began to sense rather than think. Shots became points of traveling light, shouts like a symphony. The Sonatarans were short stout wonderful fighting machines and the Cybermen became a military overture in A minor. The humans were quick, their resounding fire like lilts of a flute above the bass of the Draconian guns. She was mesmerized, lured

Seized and twisted, held against cold stone, heat by her head, black cool linen around her. The sound of an outraged Ogron in her ears. She felt the Doctor's body make contact with hers and she immediately extended her gun beyond his body. Around them, stones and mortal fell to the ground, her feet vibrating from the force of the strikes against the ground. 

"Don't fire," he urged his voice in her ears. "Stray gunfire, Tegan. Don't shoot."

They had to climb out of the small pile of stones that had fallen around them, him holding the gun in his left hand, her fingers in his right. He immediately limped to the wall, staring out at the distance. "Reinforcements, I knew it."

"What?" she shouted, joining him at the wall. "They shot at us, Doc. Friends usually shoot away from you." But as she stood at the edge of the wall, seeing dead bodies and death and destruction as far as she could see, it was hard to concentrate on the actual moving soldiers. But it was true that those that had been fighting for the General and carrying his flag were scattering with only a small core remaining in tact. And that core appeared still intent on entering and taking the castle.

She glanced at the high ramparts around them, around the entry road. She guessed that maybe five wide could make it through the passage without large guns. Her breath quickened as she leaned out over the wall to look at the bases and scale of the ramparts. "Hell's teeth" she breathed.

"Guerilla warfare," the Doctor responded. Turning he yelled for his soldiers, not just his generals and captains to join him. Quickly and to Tegan's amazement, with accuracy borne of a great strategic thinker, he ordered his soldiers into the ramparts surrounding the entry gate to the castle. Sonatarans were ordered to ground level to stay at one end of the road to keep them from coming in, the Cybermen were issued to the back to circle around and help chase them in. The Draconians were told to thin numbers of soldiers before they made it to the Sonatarans. And the humans were told to pick off the rest. 

Once the orders were issued he turned and pointed in her face. "Tegan, stay here with Trock."

"I won't," she said, raising her chin to him. "This isn't over yet and damn it, I can help you. How else do you think Peri and me stayed alive? You go, I go and I know you're going."

His sigh was loud. But when he turned, his hand was once again firmly around her fingers, she was brought along, running to keep even with his wide strides. They climbed together, falling to their stomachs at the rise in the rampart, next to the Ogron guard. As they watched the first of the approaching soldiers enter the gate, she whispered: "Are you sure you can shoot, Doc?"

"There's blood on my hands, Tegan," he muttered, his blue eyes narrowed. "If I allow them sanctuary, they might owe allegiance to me. If they show truce, I'll give them truce. I had hoped none of this was necessary"

She reached over to squeeze his non-shooting hand. 

The noise began again, but ceased quickly as a white flag was shot into the wall with a long sharp instrument and the Doctor shouted parry and acceptance. 

All Tegan could do was lower her head to her arms and cry as the thunder of cheering soldiers filled the air.

**

It wasn't Morbius that surprised her; nor was it the splendor in which he transmitted himself. It was the arrival of most of the Time Lord High Council that amazed her to no end. She had been with the Doctor as he slowly crossed the open field to their landing ship. His limp was more pronounced from exhaustion and she found her hand leaving his and her arm supporting him. She hadn't had a choice whether to be with the Doctor or not, he hadn't released her fingers since they had risen from the rampart.

Amidst the pain and death and burning ruins and dead forests, the shiny new and untouched Gallifreyan cruiser set down. Out of their door, a trio of splendidly dressed Time Lord Cardinals stepped. They seemed intent to reach the ground, but stopped midway down. 

She glanced over her shoulder and saw why. Lines of battered men, machines and aliens followed the Doctor, still following him after their victory. They formed battle lines as far as the eye could see. 

"They've followed you," she whispered, leaning closer to the Doctor's side. "Everyone."

His nod was minute. As the Cardinals continued to the ground, they addressed him in strange words and it was clear that even the TARDIS in the Doctor's pocket wasn't meant to understand what they were saying. No one was, except the Doctor. And, of course in direct defiance and to her amusement, he answered them back in TARDIS translatable English. "The meeting will take place, Cardinals" he inclined his head. "Here on Karn, here in this castle at a time I will set down. I must see to my troops and my injured first. I will send a messenger when you are required."

Without further words, he turned and faced his soldiers, his arm rounding Tegan's waist. His weakness was obvious. "Do you know the saying, Tegan?" he asked, conversationally, for her ears only. "That behind every strong man is a strong woman?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"It's true. Help me back to the castle. My leg is almost giving out."

** 


	10. Chapter 10

Just this part and an epilogue. Anybody else as glad as me that it's over?

**

Another dress, another time. Looking in the makeshift mirror that she, Peri and two other women shared, she barely recognized herself. Peri was dressed in a beautiful green and black dress that the Doctor had told her were the colors for one of the College of Gallifrey. 

"You look sad," Peri voiced, putting the finishing touches on a braid. Tegan glanced up and smiled, albeit sadly, at her friend. The girl pulled on the end of her braid and laid it across the top of her head, pinning down across the crown, forming a hair burette. "The war is over, Tegan. That should at least bring a smile to your face."

"Oh, I'm happy about that," Tegan said. She shook her head. "I don't quite know where my head is tonight."

"And you look beautiful," Peri responded, patting the hair down. "Do you know why the Doctor asked you to wear that?"

"Not a clue," she said. "Do you know?"

Peri shook her head. "Vidal is going to escort me and I suppose"

Tegan rose and smiled at the other two women. She knew exactly what she was going to do. The Doctor had been given a room to rest in at the top of the castle. Peri gave a wide smile and pointed up. Unable to hold back her laughter, Tegan reached out to hug her friend. "Just make sure you both come to the meeting, the party and everything else, Tegan."

**

She climbed the stair holding her orange and crimson gown up so as to not trip. She felt silly wearing the dress with fighting boots, but she didn't have much of a choice. What she had a problem with were the stairs, they hugged the way, but seemed to climb up to eternity. A stairway to heaven, she thought with a smile and tried hard to keep from singing the song. But still she climbed up, both torches and synthetic illumination lighting her way.

At the top, she saw Trock standing at the door, his injured arm tucked solidly into his chest. The Ogron straightened and gave her a little salute of sorts. "Lady Tegan, Trock is to let you in. Supremo is waiting for you."

"Knew I'd come up, did he?" she asked with a nod. "All right, Trock. How's your arm, though?" She peeled back the sling to look at his darkened, singed flesh. She kept most of her revulsion out of her face, she hoped. "Who dressed this, Trock? Who helped you?"

"Trock did it," the Ogron stated proudly. 

"Um hmm," Tegan whispered. "As I thought. Right, Trock, you're coming in with me to Supremo. We have to get this wound of yours tended to." 

The Ogron shook his head and shifted his weight. "Only Lady Tegan is admitted to the Supremo's room."

**

Tegan entered the room and found it empty. It was strange, there was little place for a Time Lord, especially one of his height, to hide. The room itself was small, containing only a fireplace, a table with a collection of bandages and water jugs, and a bed that was barely large enough to be called a double. There was only the door that she entered and another door on the opposite wall. She pushed on it and it swung open to let in chilly Karn air. With a sigh, she saw yet more stairs and set about walking up them. 

Towards the top, she found her way being lit by a flame torch and then the cold, clammy, crumbling rocks disappearing overhead to give way to open sky with thousands of stars. 

"There you are," she said quietly to the Doctor's starlit back. She saw his nod and she continued to climb to join him, out at the edge of the castle turret. "What are you-"

She didn't need to finish her question; she could see why he was quiet. His eyes were trained on the landscape scarred with death and destruction. Even the night couldn't hide the scoring of the land. "I hate war, Tegan," he said quietly. "A necessary evil, but only so infrequently needed. This planet will never be the same, now, ever"

She laid her hand at his back and just let it lie there. Opting as she was more likely to do, she tried to give comfort by common sense. "You had to do it. We had to do it. Can you imagine what this planet would have looked like under Morbius?"

He nodded understanding, but still not wanting to be pulled from his funk. 

"A complete uniform?" she said quietly. "Complete with braids and spit-shined boots, I bet, as well" She desperately tried to keep a light tone in her words. "My, mygoing to see the Queen are we?"

"Yes, well" he sighed, finally turning his gaze to her. "I do have to look my best. And, on Rassilon's grave, I didn't want to wear those horrid Gallifreyan gowns." The Doctor looked down at her dress and finally smiled. "You wore it without an argument. Thank Rassilon for small favors."

"Thank whoever you like," she replied, straightening his braids. "But you'll be undressing rather quickly."

The Time Lord rocked back on his feet and frowned at his companion. "Now, Tegan. Correct me if my memory has suddenly gone on the blink, but I do believe that, in the past, we've had a bit of a lead up to exercising in bed. And I wasn't aware that we were"

"I want to check your leg wound, you bloody Gallifreyan," she muttered. Without another word, she slipped her arm through him and turned him toward the stairs. "Now, if you don't mind. You've not let me see it for three days."

He sighed and turned from the stone edge. He tweaked her nose and let his arm fall to her waist. "It feels much better after a nap, I'll admit. Very well, Tegan, if it will alleviate your worry. But we will have to be quick about it; I've a meeting to adjourn."

"And I want you to order Trock inside your room, Doc," she replied, following him down the steps as he led her by the hand. "Did you know that he has a very nasty wound to his arm that he dressed himself?"

**

A half an hour later, the Doctor opened the door to his room and exited into the main stairwell. Trock was peacefully sleeping on his bed after both Tegan and he had dressed his arm wound. The Doctor chuckled under his breath as he shut the door. "He's rather taken with you, Tegan. He would have never let me sew his arm without you there."

"Oh yes," she breathed, sarcastically. "Something else I do well that will never see the light of day on my resume." With a sigh, she stepped back and the Doctor held out his arm to her. 

"Allow me, Lady Tegan," he said gallantly, as her arm slipped through his and he captured her fingers with his other hand. "I do have to adjourn a meeting very soon. There is a great deal to see to."

She picked up her hem and with as small of steps as she was able to take with her boots, she climbed down the stairs with him. 

"Why am I wearing this dress?" she asked quietly, taking his cue and looking straight ahead. She had noticed that he had barely looked to her since the rampart. She had a feeling that she needed to continue talking of non-personal topics, but at that moment, her curiosity won out over her better judgment. 

"It's a Gallifreyan," he said simply. 

Tegan nodded and waited. After about three steps, she realized he wasn't going to say more. "And? Come on, Doc. It is extremely lovely and colorful, and makes me feel very much like a peacock, but I know there has to be more of a reason"

"Don't you like it?"

"Now you're avoiding the answer, Doctor," she stated and stopped on the steps. He continued down two more and turned to face her. She put her hands on her hips and gave him a look. "It's a simple question."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "And I do have quite a simple answer. I simply wanted to see you in it." His hands came up to pat the air. "Yes, I know. But that is the basis of the answer, Tegan. It's the colors of the Pyrodonian academy." He climbed to the stair below where she stood. "And this" he said, adjusting the collar to show her the edge. "These orange ticks in the fabric are indicative of my house and if my personal history were just a little different, it would hold my loom history as well. As it stands, it has my birth order in my cycle. On this side," he continued, stepping up even with her. "On the collar, are my education level and any offices I have held."

"All that from a dress?" she asked, overwhelmed. She stared at the notches and twisting that she had thought was part of the fabric. He met her eyes and nodded, reaching out to take her hand. She followed him down the stairs still staring at the collar. "So much identification on one dress. It's almost crazy. It's almost as though you're draping me in your identification"

He continued walking even as the realization hit her. "You've dressed me as your"

"Myyes. There really isn't a word for it, Tegan, not in my native language. I'm not sure there's one in Terran language either. I simply wanted the other Time Lords here to know that you as well as Peri are considered close and dear to me. But you" he sighed. "You're under my protection as a Time Lord and as the Supreme Coordinator. You do look ratherbeautiful in it, Tegan."

"And you didn't want other men getting too carried away and carrying away either Peri or I tonight," she said with a laugh in her voice. "You've marked me."

He cleared his throat and continued steadily descending the stairs. When the reached ground level, he extended his arm again and she quietly slipped her arm through his. "Well, Tegan. Quite a few soldiers haven't seen their wives and women in almost a year. An ounce of prevention and all thatI hope you aren't upset"

"No," she replied. "Confused a little, because I know you and I know there's something you aren't telling me. And I'm honored. And I feel beautiful in it.but upset, no."

"A first for everything," he agreed. The noise level grew around them as they approached the main meeting room. As they neared, the Doctor's demeanor became more serious, the smile left his eyes. He straightened his shoulders, puffed out his chest and she saw, before her eyes, the emergence of the warlord inside of the Time Lord. Likewise, maybe picking up on the personal cues he was giving, she straightened her spine and lifted her chin. She felt the Doctor's eyes on her face and could feel the palpitation of pride in him, but she didn't know how or why. She felt warm nonetheless.

**

It was a haze, a dream. Nothing seemed right, nothing seemed together. She floated into the room on his arm, barely felt her body as she sat down next to him at the head of the table. She felt the overbearing stare of the other Time Lords in the room on her and found herself fearlessly and almost carelessly returned the stare. All she could feel was the strength, not from herself, not from the Doctor, but like a bubble around them and Peri. They exuded it. 

She started as she heard the Doctor's deep voice rumbled next to her in warning. "Cardinal Borusa, I have called this meeting. Regardless of whether you feel we should sentence Morbius now or not, I have my troops to see to care for. And when this done, I shall see to your justice."

As he sat down next to her again, she turned her eyes to him. His profile was tight, almost pained. Down the room, she heard a door open and knew the other generals were entering to come forward to report. "Their justice? Isn't it yours too?"

He smiled, coldly and suddenly. "Ah, Tegan, didn't you hear the words? Sentencing. Time Lords don't use juries. Juries might come to the wrong conclusion and throw a spanner in the works. It's their sense of justice that I don't subscribe to."

She frowned, but didn't say any more as the generals, one by one, came forward to report their injuries and the final states of their ships, their weapons, their dead and wounded. The Doctor nodded and sighed, answered and gave praise. And finally, after a time that she couldn't begin to measure, the other soldiers ceased to come forward and she sensed a change in the room. The other Time Lords rose in unison and approached the head of the table. 

Aware that the attention was off of them, the Doctor quietly laid his hands on the table and relaxed back into the chair. She watched that with surprise. "Aren't you going to say something? They aren't even calling Morbius to defend himself. Isn't this a mockery of justice?"

"Not Time Lord justice," he sighed, leaning closer to her. "Actually, this is rather a lovely display of our legal system. They've already decided his crime, his participation, and his conviction and sentence. Nothing I can say will change anything, unfortunately and I can't entirely disagree with his guilt."

"But"

"Easy, Tegan," he responded and she felt his cool hand on hers. 

"I can't believe this," she whispered, still upset.

"Trust you to demand equal justice for a man like this," he said and she felt a shock of warmth. "Easy, brave heart."

She sighed and tried hard to concentrate on the proceeds without anger, but it was a hard road.

**

"And that concludes a Gallifreyan trial," the Doctor stated, rising from the chair to pull back on Tegan's. He became aware that although the Time Lords had filed back to their seats, the rest of the soldiers were waiting for a sign, an order.

The Doctor sighed and turned, raising his voice to be heard by everyone. Tegan rose to stand at his side, as he had already pulled back her chair. "I've been honored to have an army such as you, to be among such brave souls. You've made me proud, but above all, you should be proud of yourselves. I'll meet with the generals tomorrow to begin to plan how to get everyone home. I thank you for your time, your efforts, and your loyalty and honor in battle." He bowed his head. "You've humbled me. Thank you. And now, I do believe a celebration is in order."

He turned, slipping his arm about Tegan's waist and not balking an argument, walked with her to the side and into another room.

**

"T'ruk, I think I need to have a sit down," Tegan supplied as the Draconian Commander released her to clap to the fife and drum band. "Draconian dancing is very.complex."

"But you have been a very apt learner, Lady Tegan. I shall return you to the Supreme Coordinator," T'ruk replied with a smile and a slight bow of his head. He shook his head which she had learned meant that he agreed. "You're human body must be tiring."

"Just a little out of breath," she defended good-naturedly. "But thank you, it has been lovely." She folded her hands and bowed slightly. "You've honored me."

The Draconian returned the gesture and escorted her through the crowd to where the Doctor sat next to one of the members of the Gallifreyan High Council. When T'ruk had delivered her, he bowed to the Doctor, saluting him, and then disappeared back into the crowd. 

The Doctor, in response to her return, rose and offered her his seat. "I've danced with Draconians, Tegan. I know how tired you must feel. Please."

She slid into the chair next to the other Time Lord and fielded his frown by raising her eyebrows. "Our conversation is at an end?" he asked, turning his cold gray eyes from Tegan to the Doctor. She fought the urge to shiver and sat back to look up at her still impeccably dressed friend. The Doctor looked down at her and shook his head. 

"On the contrary, Tegan may be present for anything we discuss."

"That's"

"She's my companion and a friend. At times, she acts as my moral counsel. She may be here for anything about which we speak."

The Time Lord bristled at his tone and Tegan fought the urge to smile. After a silence during which she felt like an amoeba under a microscope, the Councilor began to speak again. "As we were saying, Doctor. There is a possibility that you could return to Gallifrey and take the Presidential Office with little fight. A majority of the Cardinals would be behind you, especially with the support that you have garnered here."

The Doctor took a deep breath and Tegan fought the urge to panic. President? On Gallifrey? After he had already run from them once since she had traveled with him? Would he take it? Had leadership grown on him so much? Would he remain cold and distant? Would he stop traveling? Would-

"Thank you. I shall consider this over the night and talk to you in the morning. I think no decisions should be made until after Morbius' execution this evening. I shall tell you my decision on the morrow." The Doctor glanced down at Tegan and then back up at the Councilor. "I think we have discussed everything and I can't speak for Tegan, here, but I can say that I deserve sleep." He bowed slightly. 

The Councilor sat there motionless, and clearly pressed for words until he realized that he had been dismissed. As the blush grew and spread across his neck, the Time Lord rose and quickly left. His walk was jaunty and very arrogant, but Tegan held in her harumph and laugh until he was out of earshot.

"Oh good bloody Christ," she muttered with a shake of her head. The Doctor gave a similar response and sank into the chair that the Time Lord had just left. "Thank God he left."

"He's the third one this evening," the Doctor responded. "Be thankful you were dancing. Even my stomach had problems digesting that much arrogance."

"You should try dealing with you sometime," she shot back. When her joke got the response she wanted, a small laugh, she continued. "President of the High Council, Doc? That sounds veryimportant."

"And very boring, Tegan," the Doctor said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Tegan bored of beating around the bush and leaned forward to spear him with a stare. "Are you going to take it?"

"Tegan," the Doctor said, drawling out the syllables of her name in irritation. "What do you think of me?"

"Well"

"Of course not," he said, rising and reaching to the back of her chair. She took the cue and rose with him. "And I'm also going to turn down the offer to become the leader of the CIA and also the offer to head up a multi-species mobile fighting force. That was turned down immediately, I might add."

"Why didn't you just turn him down, then?" she asked quietly, surprised as he led her out of the room quickly. 

"Peri is all right?" he asked. "She's with Vidal still?"

"They're quite taken with one another," Tegan supplied. "You're changing the subject."

"The TARDIS is in my room, Tegan. In its traveling form. I'll let Peri party for a little while longer, but in two or three hours, when the celebration is dying down and the execution takes place. I want you and me and Peri away from here. I won't have to turn them down. I will simply be gone."

Tegan's smile widened and grew until it was interrupted with a yawn. He agreed as he began to climb the stairs. Stopping, he ordered one of the Ogrons to find Peri in two hours and bring her to his room. That done, he climbed the stairs, pulling Tegan behind him. "A nap is on order, for the two of us, I should think," he said. 

"In the TARDIS?"

"No," he replied. "We'd never hear Peri and be able to get out of here in time. Besides, there's something that I need to do when Peri comes back. No, we can use the bed in my quarters."

"Doc?" she asked, somewhat coyly, but very tiredly.

"To sleep, Tegan. We can certainly sleep together" he muttered, somewhat put out. 

** 


	11. Epilogue

She pushed open the door to the console room. The jeans she wore and the sweatshirt felt so wonderful that she was hard pressed to take them off. Likewise, Peri had programmed a hot bath and a cheese steak sandwich almost the moment that the TARDIS was in the vortex. The Doctor had quietly and with some relief, donned his cricketing gear again. They had gone their separate ways for a day.

"There you are," she said, without fanfare and without heavy accent.

The Doctor straightened where he sat, napping, in a chair. She recognized it as a chair from the study. "Tegan, good morning."

"The light cycle just made it evening," she replied. "You've been asleep."

"Yes, well" he stated, quietly. "I was awake for a great deal of the last year, Tegan. Even a Time Lord has his limits. Evening, is it? Interesting. I suppose the old girl wouldn't mind if I retired to the study." He rose and began gently, almost lovingly, adjusting the temporal path and setting things for the night. 

She leaned on the console, struck almost physically by its banality, its normality and how much she had missed it. Everything felt as though she had come so far and yet hadn't gone anywhere at all. "Docyour wound?"

His sigh told her more than his words. "Tegan, I've told you: It will heal extremely slowly. My nanities were pushed to their limits with my physical exertions. Now that I have time to rest"

"Pardon me if I worry about it," she responded tartly. "It wasn't that pretty to look at yesterday."

"Very well," he sighed, letting his head fall forward on his tired neck. "Will you give me peace if I allow you see to it?"

She lifted an eyebrow and he shook his head. "No, I know better than that. Very well."

**

"Well," she sighed, adjusting the regular bandage on his leg wound. "It is looking much better."

"As I said, Tegan," he replied, leaning forward to give her a frown. "If I'm allowed some rest this evening, it will be as good as new."

She sat back and let him roll down the leg of his trouser. His anger at her disbelief was so normal that she felt like laughing, but opted to simply climb to her feet. "I told you before my medical knowledge was lacking, but I can tell a bad wound when I see one, you know."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," he sighed and rose from the chair to find his coat. "Nowif I can find the book I was reading before we landed on Karn in the first place"

"Will it be the same again?" she asked, suddenly. The Doctor stopped, turned and looked at her. She could feel the weight of his stare on the top of her head and slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. The military bearing he still held slowly disintegrated and his shoulders slumped a little. Tegan watched as he breathed deeply as if he was drawing something from the air and then he shook his head. 

"No, Tegan, it won't be the same again," he said, almost regretfully. 

"I wasn't just talking about traveling, Doctor," she said, her voice matter-of-factly. 

"I know."

The response wasn't what she expected, her mouth slightly open in shock. He continued, rushing forward, his hand waving to force the words out of his mouth. "Teganhow could it be the same?"

She shook her head. "So we'll whatare we going to go our separate ways? All of us? Peri, you and I? Doctor"

He lowered his head and sighed. She could see his eyebrows arched over his eyes. That usually bode poorly for her and usually came from agitation or interest. Steeling herself and rolling her sleeves above her elbows, she prepared for a fight. Instead, she saw him offer his arm, like a gentleman. "Tegan, please. You and I apparently need to have a talk and the console room" he looked around it and shook his head. "Is not the place to have it."

"Why bother?" she asked, throwing her hands wide. "If I'm to leave, I would rather it be sooner than later. I bloody well faced up to a lot more than getting dumped this last year"

"Dumped?"

"How else would you call opening the console room door leaving me behindlike Heathrow?"

He frowned and came towards her and reached out to hold her shoulders. "Tegan. The next time you will be left on Earth will be your decision. Now, please, come with me. Let's go somewhere comfortable. The cloisters, the study"

She opened her mouth to argue, but felt his hands tighten, his thumbs caressing her clavicle. "All right," she sighed. "All right."

**

The study was a better place she decided once they left the console room and he steered her towards it with his hand firmly at her back. She had only been there once and was still struck by the banality of it, the fact that it was indeed a normal room in the middle of his abnormal ship. He escorted her to the couch, sat her and retreated from the main room for a moment. She took the time to look about and realized that this was a very personal space of his. 

When he came back in the room, she was perusing a book that had been on the arm of the couch. "You were looking for your copy of 'Time Machine'. It's here."

"Ah, thank you," he replied. "Tea?"

She shook her head. "You'll serve that to every planet in the system if we let you. Yes, I would love a cup."

"Earl Gray, of course. Chamomile would be wonderful, but I do believe we need our senses" he sighed and set down the cups on the small table in front of them. 

"Just answer me one thing and I'll be happy," she responded, picking up her cup. "Will our travels change?"

He sighed. "Is that all I've had to answer all this time with you to avoid arguments? So easy." His smile was sudden but faded quickly as she didn't return the humor. "Yes, wellnothing works in a vacuum, you know. I've changed, grown in some ways, lessened in othersbut I have changed. You've matured-"

"Oh, thank you very much."

"I mean that as a compliment," he muttered with a sigh. "You've grown, matured, become very much your own woman and I'm quite sure that some of the things you've seen and experienced have also adversely effected you. And Peri, wellshe's grown up as well. We're different people. Of course our interactions, our lives, travels and so on will be different. They have to be different."

Tegan sighed and she felt a certain amount of anger and frustration building. "Rabbits! I wish we could go back"

"Do you? Would you want to forget your friends on Sylvana? If you could? Vidal? Trock? With everything good comes something badit seems"

Tegan shook her head tiredly. "No"

"No, Teganwe can't go back. What's happened has happened to us. To undo it would unravel the web of time. What's happened, what's said, what's done is over and history to us and will remain that way" he pressed, sipping at his tea quietly. "But I would like you both to remain"

"And I want to stay. For now," she added cheekily. She had felt a flash of something like guilt or heat through her veins when he had mentioned things that were said. A stray thought filled her mind before it disappeared under a wash of pain. "Said" she whispered quietly, disturbing only the surface of her tea.

"Yes," he replied. "Words are very powerful, Teganrather like swords, only when they are unsheathed and released, there's no way to draw them back."

She stopped breathing just as her lips touched the tea in her cup. Afraid to lift her eyes, she took a sip and lowered her hands from her face. "Like asking me what you did on the rampart," she chided. 

"Ah, yes" he replied, lowering his cup as well. "Rather like what you said to me on the ship, Tegan."

She had to put the cup down before her numb fingers released it. Wordlessly, for once in her life, she supposed, she collapsed back into the soft nap of the couch. "You can't hold me to that," she finally blurted out as the minutes ticked by. It startled the Doctor from where he sat, his arms forward on his knees and his eyes staring in the middle distance. "You were injured and"

"You were worried, you were pressed to your limits" he replied, not glancing up at her. "I quite understand neither one of us was at our best, mentally, physically nor, I suppose, psychologically," he agreed. She sighed with a nod and wondered why she felt both elated with relief and pained as if her breath was stolen from her. She was just beginning to relax when he met her eyes. "Should I have my doubts that"

She tensed and closed her eyes. "Thatindeed. I always was a mouth on legs, Doc."

She heard his cup set down on the table and then the squeak from his sneakers as he rose and paced away from her. Hoping that seeing was believing that it was happening, she kept her eyes closed. His sigh alerted her that he was going to talk. "Yes" he cleared his throat.

"I did say it," she helped him, opening her eyes. "I'll do many things in my life, but deny something I've said is not one of them. Hell's Teeth, I need to think more. This word sword thing is only going to hurt me in this instance and"

"Quiet, Tegan" he pressed, turning around to look at her. She saw a new release of tension in his stance, the ease with which he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Is the basis of your feelings from our" he cleared his throat again. "Yes, our liaisons as it were?"

"The last time we had sex was well over a year ago," she laughed, her voice almost shrill in the room. "And we've only had it twice, Doc" With her smile suddenly becoming a frown, she sat forward. "Oh please tell me you're not blaming us sleeping together for"

The Doctor sighed.

"And don't you dare say that I'm interfering horribly," she warned. 

"I'm saying nothing of the kind," he said. "The interfering has already occurred, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"You make it sound like spilled milk," she said tartly.

"It isn't," he twisted and glanced at her. "Tegan, interfering or not isn't what I'm worried about. Our liaisons are quitepleasurable, and I've enjoyed being close to you, knowing you like that" he muttered. He rubbed at his hair. "I'm to understand that it is often expected that the feelings are to be returned"

"Look, don't"

"I care for you," he rushed on, piling over top of her like a tank on a tree. "Very much." She braced herself for the 'but' to follow, but it never did. Watching him also showed her that he seemed to feel a weight lifted from his shoulders. "I do believe I've finally understood what was meant about emotional entanglements and interference, but of course, only after the fact."

"Doc"

"It's the best I can do, Tegan. I can't express them any better. There simply aren't words in Gallifreyan for them. And I'm stretching my education well beyond its limitsbut that's nothing I haven't done before" He gave her a smile, his sunny, devil-may-care-smile. "And I hoped that my present of the dress"

"Actually, that did tell me a fair bit," she admitted. "But added to the confusion. You are a very confusing man, Doc."

"Ah" he responded coming back to the couch. "That's something else, Tegan. You're forming an emotional entanglement with me, this methe one that's with you herebut Teganthere's moreI'm not just"

"I've seen you regenerate, I know," she reminded him. 

"It's beyond that, Tegan. In me, in my head, my personalityI'm like a layerI can be peeled back"

She leaned forward. "You showed me what you're trying to say, you know. With the Joiba all that time ago, and on the ship before we freed your leg, I saw it in your eyes, there."

"Hmmm, that's interesting," he replied, frowning. "Showed you, did I?"

Tegan nodded. 

"And it didn't send you scrabbling away? I am intrigued. The only equivalent to the human understanding is that of multiple personality disorder," he responded. 

"I'm not exactly sane."

"Peas on a pod, then, is what you're trying to say?"

"I don't know what I'm trying to say, Doc," she whispered. 

With a nod, he sat forward and wrapped his hand around hers. "I think a very long vacation for all three of us is due, Tegan. Restful, quietand we're not walking out of the TARDIS until we get there before you askand then, then you tell me what you're trying to say."

She nodded and smiled, taking up her tea again. Languid, liquid warmth was washing over her; she knew the evening would draw to a close and she would go to sleep in her own, solid, comfortable bed. There was some security in her now. And they would go on their vacation and there would be other conversations and maybe one or the both of them could figure out exactly what it was they were going to say. 

Tegan smiled and squinted at him. "You told methe second timethat you didn't understand"

"I didn't then," he replied. "But I think I started to learn what I didn't understand the day I saw that transport taking off with you and Peri, Tegan. It'll be a long road"

"Oh great," she muttered. "School's in."

"Oh, Tegan, Tegan, Tegan," he admonished, good-naturedly. "Haven't you learned by now that the things that take the longest to learn are those things that are the most worth learning?"

She rolled her eyes, but as she relaxed back and he began to tell her of other stories, other times and she felt relaxation flooding her for the first time in over a year. I'll have to heal, she thought, and then maybe, Doc, I can help you with your lessons. 


End file.
